Anxious though,i hope it's just anxious though lt

[Against_the_current]

I asked sis whether to go home for nye, she said no straight away. Im worried why. Does mom go extra triggering/crazy? Does sis not want me? She's so fed up of my anxiety, always scolding me. Or did she just think about my good?

[SoporRose]

I think your sister is concerned for your welfare. She knows how much it troubles you to go home and how badly being with your mom affects you. It may be that she doesn't want to get between your mom and you, but I'm guessing that she's trying to spare you any more trauma. Take her advice. Give yourself a break and rest up before your semester starts.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you. Explained it very well to me

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

How are you doing now?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Lost track of time and somehow it's 3am and im starting to lose myself in my thoughts and time. Thinking what to do with new year, got back to my accomodation,the plan is to go home for 31st, adjusting some technical settings and being fed up of it and knowing it's stupid and it making me more fed up but i want my stuff arranged my way, catching up on all my activities to do during winter vacation and distracting from the family meeting and getting caught up scrolling and so, arranging more stuff in my head, wondering what i need to buy and whether to cancel my gym membership because the months i had money for are over, meanwhile not getting to work on my assignments and homeworks nor chores, just arranging everything in attempt to control the mess my room, my brain, My Family,my country,my world is... Phew i needed this out. Thank you for asking, sorry if it's too much

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

It's not too much. I'm the same way. I need to get the stuff that runs around my mind out where I can "see" it and confront it all. What you're doing isn't stupid. You're just coping the best you can. Getting your room and your things organized in a way that makes sense to you will help with your tension and tangled thoughts.

I so admire the way you've managed to do so well in school while your brain is over-loaded with family and housing burdens. I hope that when you're low and stressed out you can feel some of the pride I have in your accomplishments and that that helps you carry on.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Your words are so compassionate and touching. Im beyond grateful to have you here

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

You are going to be an amazing whatever you decide to be because you will have the magic combination of being able to understand the suffering of others while bringing your intellect to bear at the same time.

On a different note, and just because I'm curious: have you done any art lately? I remember the couple of pieces you shared with us before and would love to see anything else you've done.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thaank you. For both. I really needed someone to believe in me and encourage me. And thanks, im thinking about doing some art. Rn having a subject art therapy. The bad thing is that i don't have art supplies and space here. I feel like doing some art tho. Trying to write too

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I'm excited that you feel like doing art and writing again. An art therapy class sounds perfect for you. I can see how creative therapies could be the perfect starting place for you, how having the bridge of art or writing between you and a client would provide you both with a focal point on which to build therapy.

Is there an age group with which you hope to work?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thanks. I don't know

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I think it's fine not to know. It leaves you with more options as you look toward grad school/internships/next steps.