Alone

[Thistooshallpass7]

hi anyone, I’m so sorry to be back and depressed. I tried to manage but I made myself unhappy and unhealthy. I went back to the person who emotionally abuses me and got myself pregnant off of one night . Every day since then has been a nightmare.

He started by saying the child is not his and he wants nothing to do with me. He has called me fat and stink and said I’m crazy and no man will ever want me. The entire pregnancy has been tears and anxiety and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

No one could have prepared me for this, deep down I thought he would be gentle since I’m pregnant but he has gotten worse, he comes n sleeps on my couch and ignores me. He says he is only here for the child which he wants a test for but makes me cry every single day. He does not support me and says he doesn’t love me or care about me . He never went to one appointment with me 😔….

He argues with me for every single thing and when I ask him to change he tells me he doesn’t want to change for me and asks me what I really feel this is. We are not in a relationship. I have been trying to wrap my head around this but I can’t. I cannot stop crying and I feel guilt because I don’t want my baby to grow up like this.

I try to leave him because if I’m being honest he’s not mine to begin with but I still hope that things will change. When I call him, he ignores me, when he answers he stays silent in the phone, he hangs up when I’m speaking and randomly blocks me because “I nag him”

the pain I feel is unreal , I should be happy to be alive and pregnant but I’m not … I can’t sleep I am frustrated and I just don’t know what to do

[Dancelady63]

Hello there,

I am truly sorry that your bf is treating you so badly. Being pregnant and alone is hard enough. I hope things will get better for you. Ask yourself if you really want to be with somebody that treats you like this. I think you and your baby will be better without him. Connect with positive people that really can help you and make things better for you. I wish you the best.

[Thistooshallpass7 in reply to Dancelady63]

I appreciate you responding. It means a lot. I think so too but unfortunately I’m not sure I know how to let go of him. I know I don’t want to be with someone who treats me like that but right now I feel as though it’s the best I can do. I’m not ready to see him publicly be with someone

[___snowdaze in reply to Thistooshallpass7]

The truth is this,  Thistooshallpass7 ….this man has already shown his true colours and they are dark. The signs are there, he is not going to change for a child who he questions is his to begin with.

He is far from the best you can do. Being a single mom is truly a struggle at times, but it is absolutely doable. You and your child will have each other and love each other. Having this man in your lives will bring only sadness and heartbreak.

There is no time like the present, perhaps start formulating a plan, one that does not include him. If you have family or a close friend and confidant, begin by speaking with them, it is always, always best to confide in someone. You will feel less alone.

Please keep posting, it will help you a great deal to talk it out with others. 🙏

[Noodlecatpiano]

Thank you for sharing. I just read your post. How are you doing today?

[Noodlecatpiano]

It could be that he is trying his best and will figure out a better way in the future. Try to be patient and calm and focus on what you need. I don't know what you are going though. Maybe a counselor would be helpful.

[Noodlecatpiano in reply to Noodlecatpiano]

Counselling is supposed to be safe and I would recommend it. Maybe a licensed therapist would be best. They are people too. I like your positive attitude. I apologize for not having a clue what you were going through before.

[Thistooshallpass7 in reply to Noodlecatpiano]

I try to believe this but I guess I crave the love and attention so much right now that I ask him about it at times and he just responds by saying “something is wrong with you, we were not good before” I don’t think he wants to make things work and I’m still hopeful which hurts me… I am doing counseling but it’s very expensive in my country so I can’t afford much sessions

[Noodlecatpiano in reply to Thistooshallpass7]

ah. i think the best love comes from the universe and you can lead in the love. there are books and just exercise may help. i'm not sure.

[Noodlecatpiano]

Maybe also journaling or art.

[Thistooshallpass7 in reply to Noodlecatpiano]

I try