Did I make it all up with my mind?

[EricJones]

When it comes to strangers or people's opinions and observations, should I be worried about what they think or discover about me or is this something that I shouldn't worry about? If they do discover something, will they judge me for it, or just keep on moving on with their day? Did I make it all up in my head that I wasn't safe and that I was going to be persecuted for displaying my own body language?

[Dolphin14]

Eric

I don't think you made it up. I think something caused you to feel unsafe and this happened as a result.

The good thing is you are gaining some clarity. You've come a long way 🥳

🐬

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

How do I shed the remainder of my social anxiety? Practice talking with people to conclude that they're not so bad?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

When you feel ready then I think that would be a good next step. Do it when you go to WaWa, just talk to the cashier a bit. As time goes on you will see yourself doing it more.

Be proud of how far you have come

[LoveforAll41]

I think that anxiety really at the core of it takes exposure therapy. So if you are anxious about talking to people, the only way to overcome it in my opinion, is talk to people. I think I have recommended it before, but I would really recommend the book "The subtle Art of Not Giving A F***" by Mark Manson. We are all in our own heads pretty much all the time. Others are not going to be thinking about you at all unless you are their coworker or something then I would really recommend talking to them about whatever you are worried about. Vulnerability brings us all closer. Cheers. ☮️

[mizzou7016]

and another person's opinion of you matters to you how?? Stay true to you.....people are going to think what they want to anyway....just stay true to you....the right people will embrace you and support you

[EricJones in reply to mizzou7016]

So, this problem I have with my body stiffness, doesn't matter to anyone else?

[mizzou7016 in reply to EricJones]

well does it keep you from doing certain things such as part of your job.....if so...then yes....it will matter to someone else....what shouldn't matter is what another person thinks of you as a whole..their opinion of you should mean absolutely nothing.....as long as you are displaying your true genuine self....(regardless of what your "limitations" are_) every time.....the opinion of others is just that.....their opinion....and their opinion of you shouldn't change you at all....people are going to think what they want to....just be your true self...(sorry.....I feel like I'm rambling)

[EricJones in reply to mizzou7016]

So, should I assume my head and body stiffness is okay to have?

[mizzou7016 in reply to EricJones]

why wouldn't it be....did you do anything intentionally to get it....do you have a diagnosis that causes it...there are several reasons you could have it....don't think there is a not okay reason to have it

[mizzou7016 in reply to EricJones]

and don't let anyone else tell you that there is a not ok reason to have this issue....I fight the issue every day....

[MaggieSylvie in reply to mizzou7016]

Thank you, Mizzou. I stay true to me but that's not what people see. As you say, people are going to think what they want to. I'm still waiting for the others.

[mizzou7016 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

And as long as you stay true to you...the ones that matter will eventually show up and stay....just keep grinding every day

[MaggieSylvie in reply to mizzou7016]

I'm 80 at Christmas; I'm tired of grinding.

[mizzou7016 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i understand....but here's the issue....as long as you take a breath.....you can grind....I totally believe that you are a fighter....and will be doing that until your last breath leaves

[MaggieSylvie in reply to mizzou7016]

You are right. I am a fighter and the accuracy of your words brings tears to my eyes. Big hugs🤗🤗

[mizzou7016 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

That's what happens when you run in to an empathetic introvert....the cold hard truth....but with as much love as humanly possible

[MaggieSylvie in reply to mizzou7016]

I too am an empathetic introvert! Now I can say I love you.❤️❤️

[mizzou7016]

and in today's world of chaos and craziness...a person can never really be safe...again just do you to the best of your ability.....that's all that matters

[MaggieSylvie]

Most people don't worry about what people think about them unless there are sharp words or bad looks. Your secrets are yours to keep to yourself. Unless you tell someone, they have nothing to judge you for. Even if you look like you have something you'd rather they didn't know, they cannot discover what it is. They cannot persecute you for displaying body language because they don't know what your body language means. They will just get on with their own day, and so should you.😊

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

So, they don't judge my body language because they don't know why I choose to display it? Even my head movements?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

That's right, even your head movements, which aren't even always there, and are you sure you have a real choice in displaying anything?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Good question. I'd say for the most part I don't choose it, I just react.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

That's what I would have thought, Eric. Really, you are worrying needlessly, but chatting here is helping you to see how things really are. Yes, you don't choose. The other thing is - is there a part of you that likes to poke the other part of you, and telling you to start worrying about this or that?

How do you feel in the first minute of waking up in the morning? I mean - are these negative thoughts flooding in from the moment you become conscious?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yeah, they come in pretty much as soon as I wake up. Its my head movements. Either I dart my head away from people or I don't move it enough and I wonder if people pick up on these things. Would they judge my character because of this or would they look past this and judge me on the words that I speak to them?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Words and actions - they are what people judge us on - not mannerisms. By actions, I mean the way we treat people. Mannerisms might be off-putting but they are not something to be judged. People won't pick up on your head movements. If you dart your head away, they will think you have suddenly seen something or someone that interests you. If you hardly move your head at all, one might assume you have a stiff neck.

Anyone worth their salt will not judge you badly; they will possibly judge you on the words you speak - possibly.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

So, stiff neck doesn't matter?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Ha ha! Of course it matters - but to the person whose neck it is, not to anyone else. I wish!

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

No, I mean it doesn't matter to anyone else if they see that my head is stiff and not flowing fluidly?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Your head cannot be stiff, only your neck can be stiff. Still, it wouldn't matter to anyone else; they wouldn't notice it. I know this because when I am forced to sit in one position, my neck becomes stiff if I need to turn. I am in pain and no-one notices.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

That's what I mean, my neck, and this is reassuring, thanks. Why are you forced to sit in one position, when?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

When you are old you will understand! If I am sitting next to someone, i.e. alongside them, talking to them for any length of time involves turning my head (twisting my neck). It becomes painful after a while. Likewise if I need to turn to look at something behind me, I have the same problem in reverse. There is no "forcing" as such, but sometimes, we don't have as much control over our surroundings/the furniture as we need. It could be at a meal table, where the best scenario is to be sitting opposite the person I'm talking to.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I really enjoy speaking with older people. There generally is so much less ego and more experience explained to me than anything else. Helps me learn and grow.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

My pleasure, Eric. However, I'm in the UK and it's past my bedtime! Enjoy the rest of your day. Good night.🥱

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Goodnight. Nice speaking with you.

[MaggieSylvie]

Listen to Mizzou. He speaks a lot of sense.

[mizzou7016 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thanks Maggie....can speak sense because I've dealt with this for years

[CLB1125]

when I worry about what others think of me, I think of something Dr Phil once said,

What other people think is none of your business.