Hi, i sorry been born to this world

[just_me1]

I am a shut in who doing nothing right now, just start trying to learn to draw then i just tell my parents about using my money to buy a digital drawing pen then after hearing that they say am just a useless person who can't do nothing, growing up i live with my grandparents who loved me because my mother are in prison for illegal grambling i live in Viet Nam, i don't even know my father until i few more year old after my mother been release then they take me to live with them but i start to just can stay in the house because i don't know anyone they just giving me money to wake up,eat,sleep then go to school after middle school i drop out to stay at home i don't have anyfriend everybody who know me then already moving on with their life only me still the same old me i been having (bad feeling) for a few years now since 18 i 22 i can't even swim,now i too scarce to even work, i trying to go to work at a coffe shop but in just one day i can't handle people anymore i just lock my self in with anime and game now it the only thing for me i really sorry for being born, i sorry for being useless if only i haven't been born

[littlefightingfish]

Hi just_me1 , I’m so sorry to hear about what youre going through. I guess I’m not a total shut in (yet), but I do get why most days we’d rather just stay at home where we feel safer, than deal with a (mostly) cruel world outside. I have found myself shutting myself indoors more and more too over the years, and I too have been fighting that battle to just one day give up going out and completely be done interacting with people. I mean, whats the point, right? Its hard and frustrating to explain to a seemingly extroverted, sociable world. 😔

Im sorry to hear that you get told all that by your own parents — that is NOT AT ALL TRUE! We all have a purpose in this world and no one has the right to make you feel you are useless! Oftentimes, people “project” how they feel about themselves to others. They say “Hurt people hurt people”. Doesnt mean you have to listen to degrading comments over and over though, be their emotional punching bag, and let their words destroy you. So when you hear those comments again I hope you remember to tell yourself 1.) THATS NOT TRUE. 2.) One day you will prove them all wrong.

Im glad you at least know you love drawing — I suggest you start from there. Do little things that make you happy, that give you a purpose. Whether others see it or not, doesnt matter. Do more of what makes you joyful, and dont listen to people who bring you down. We would love to see your drawings too so hopefully one day you can post them here! 🌈🙏🏻 Its a safe space here, and we go through similar situations, we understand you.

Heres hoping you find better days ahead, and the courage to keep going! 💛 Hope this quote helps you on days you need strength.

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[just_me1 in reply to littlefightingfish]

Thanks you i don't know what else to say but really thank you

[LunarEcho24]

Is therapy something you could pursue? It might be helpful.

It sounds like you've internalized the message your mother has given you. You are not worthless. Perhaps you are having a rough time. Perhaps you have got off track. It can happen to any of us. I don't want to trivialize your situation, because I know it is hard and I know you feel bad. In order to feel better, and improve your situation, you're going to have to take some steps. And I know it is hard.

What are your options to get your education? You need to learn. You need to find some kind of work you can do. Or even developing some skills with drawing, the digital pen, or on the computer might be helpful. If you feel bad about not being able to swim, then maybe someday you can find a place where you can take swim lessons or just spend time getting used to water and learn at your own pace. Just don't give up on learning and growing. Even if you feel bad that your peers have moved on to other things, you have to move at your own pace. But, try something and take steps, even small steps.

I hope that you can find some hope, and find something in life to get you out there, even if it is just a little bit at a time. Are there resources in your community that you can utilize to get education, to get some kind of work that you feel more comfortable with, or even to volunteer so you can get a little interaction with others and find some purpose. I don't know what will work for you. Maybe a in-person support group. I know the job was difficult for you, but anything you can do will be a step forward. Please don't give up.

I should take my own advise. I understand what it is like to be generally isolated, to not be connected to friends anymore, to not be able to relate to people so well. I never learned to swim as a child, and took some adult swim lessons and it did help me some. I don't feel very useful and am hard on myself, perhaps a little too hard on myself, but I feel like I haven't done enough in my life to grow. I've held back a lot, out of fear, and relied too much on others.

Please, try to get help or do something that will take steps forward. You're not the only one who has felt they've got off track in life or are alone. It happens to a lot of people. But, you'll have to find a way to take the next step. I hope you can find your way. I wish you the best.

[just_me1 in reply to LunarEcho24]

Thank you,i try out job at the convenience store near me i don't know if i can do it my anxiety keep always make me out anything but i will try it thank you again

[PeaceNeed]

You dont deserve this. Draw, draw till your fingers hurt and your eyes blur. F@#k what your useless parents think.Learn to draw portraits sell to tourists. I used to run groups for people with SMI. At the end of each group I would say ; Remember this EVERYONE IS A PERSON Of WORTH.

So r you.