New anxiety

[karoava]

Is there anyone who can relate? I am feeling so belittle on my relationship with my husband.. he is always saying that if women want to be equal then they should make everything like men do. I am not even a feminist but I am feeling like everything he is saying is said to me directly. He wants me to do everything im house like he can do. I am very capable woman I like physical work but I would like to also know that I can count on him. Every time I will make a comment regarding e.g. costs of food or that we are short with money is like talking to a wall and everything is my fault or he can talk me like I am guilty and make me feel like I am treating him badly and should apologize. We have one child and second in the way... And things are getting ugly lately.. any advice how to stay strong?

[hypercat54]

Ye gods! Tell him he can stay at home with the children while you work. Or are you working too?

[karoava in reply to hypercat54]

I am working

[Desperate4Happiness in reply to karoava]

Have you tried marriage counseling?

[LoveforAll41]

I think open conversation with a lot of feelings expressed is the best bet.... I wouldn't be surprised if he is very worried about the finances and his way of dealing with the worry is burying it and not talking about it. Have you told him that you feel you are capable, but you also want to be sure you have a partner you can depend on? Have you told him it is okay to be worried but you would like to worry together? As a man and provider I feel it is my job to say that things will be "okay" and not worry which invalidates emotions and makes everyone, especially myself, miserable. Everyone is different, but open communication is the key to everything I think. ☮️

[Formula1fan]

I would try telling him just what you told us. He needs to know exactly how you are feeling and why...

[Nothing_but_books]

How many babies has he carried to term?

[Midori]

Tell him 'We can't be equal until men have the babies!' Tell him you are going out one evening and leave him to babysit.Does he do any housework? If not, why not?

Marriage is meant to be a partnership where each helps out the other, not a one-sided 'I do this you do that kind of thing.

Does he keep you short of money?

What were his parents like? Did the wife do everything around the house while the man expected his dinner on the table and his slippers warming by the fire?

It sounds abusive to me. Are there any Counselling services, or refuges for women and children in your area? Might be worth talking to someone locally about the situation.

Cheers, Midori