Social Anxiety while starting a new relationship.

[Ximena1213]

Hello guys. So just recently ive decided I wanted to start a new relationship. And everything was going great until of course like any other normal person does, he wanted to meet up with me. We have met before but a long time ago. He does not suffer with the same situation as i do, but he wants to see me like everyday. I literally dont like leaving my house or even go outside. I actually like being alone or i don’t know if i’m just used to it at this point. Just the thought of anxiety and feeling judged by him is too much to think about. To him im beautiful but I can’t help but think he says things to make me feel better , i think negatively all the time. I have a very low self-esteem and if i dont judge others i put it in my head that other people do. Apparently you can’t love someone else without loving yourself first and at this point im realizing its true. I feel pressured to be in a relationship when i know i might be better off alone. I know its horrible to think about but its true when you are dealing with these situations. Did anyone else go through this or handled it? Did you stay away?

[DeanSamson]

Good morning. Anxiety it's completely normal in this situation even for people that don't understand anxiety yet the feelings are there. Look at it fro. This way what have you got to lose? Nothing!! But you might have a lot to gain. Best thing is if you want to meet this guy do it, because he is most likely having the same feelings as you.

[Ximena1213 in reply to DeanSamson]

I know, its just that when you are not comfortable with your body or self in general it’s difficult to not try and push someone away. Sometimes i feel like i am being too extra but them I literally get so anxious just thinking about meeting someone and not being or looking like they would think.

[Hidden]

Hello Ximena1213, it sounds like you are suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder formerly known as Social Phobia. Have tou seen a Psychiatrist or had any CBT because thats what is recommended? Ask your GP to refer you to a Psychiatrist would be the first step to get you into the mental health system which is a good starting point.

[Ximena1213 in reply to Hidden]

I have not YET. But I definitely will have to because this is literally ruining my life at this point. I keep trying to push it off because i feel like i am sometimes exaggerating. Some days ill be completely fine and other days a disaster. I definitely will, thank you so much!

[Hidden in reply to Ximena1213]

You are welcome anytime. 😁

[Hidden]

Hi there. I know exactly how you feel! I too struggle with relationships and getting close to someone for fear of judgment and rejection even though I seem completely normal socially I do cower inside.

I do think it would be good for you to meet up, even though you may feel so anxious or have your mind explode with negative thinking. Doing so would help you to learn how to cope with those thoughts and I feel like every experience, no matter how good or bad is a proud moment for yourself because you did it.

But I would set boundaries early on in the relationship. If he wants to see you every day and you know you cannot do that then tell him that as early as you can. And I guarantee he does have insecurities and some issues he just isn't going to show you those. But I do know if you did go you would be proud of yourself for trying.

[Ximena1213 in reply to Hidden]

You are absolutely right. I did talk to him about it and he was sweet to understand me. He his very stubborn tho lol but i guess i does not hurt to try. Thank you so much for your advice ❤️