Need advice

[Friends_Fan]

Hi Everyone 👋! My ex recently broke up with me after 3.5 years. I saw the screaming red flags immediately, but he accepted that I was on disability for mental health problems, and I didn't think any other guy would so I stayed in a very abusive and controlling relationship. The only way for me to meet someone is through online dating (which I've done before and which causes me so much anxiety because I'm always thinking I'm inferior and people are negatively judging me). I just don't want to be alone the rest of my life. Ok, so here's the problem: I'm on disability because of all my mental health problems so I don't know what to say when asked what I do professionally. I don't want to lie but I'm so ashamed and afraid of letting them know that right away. I also stay alone in my apartment all day so what do I say when asked what I did today? I cleaned, re-watched Friends for the millionth time, & did baby beauty parlor with my cats. I need time before I let them know, but I know that will be one of the 1st questions. Any advice of what I can say? Thank you all!

[Smallonions]

I would just say “I’m currently unemployed” and then change the subject to whatever they do for work.

[Friends_Fan in reply to Smallonions]

What do I say if they ask how I get money? If I tell them I'm uncomfortable answering, it seems like I'm doing something wrong.

[Smallonions in reply to Friends_Fan]

I think if you get far enough into a conversation with someone where they feel comfortable asking how you get money, then telling them you’re on disability should be safe.

I tend to keep conversations with new people directed towards them and their lives rather than mine that way I get to know them before telling them anything that might feel uncomfortable for me.

[Friends_Fan]

Thank you. That's very helpful.

[hypercat54]

Hi. Are you on any meds or getting therapy?

[Friends_Fan in reply to hypercat54]

Yes both for several several years.

[Dolphin14]

Can you say you left your job and you are actively seeking employment. I know it's a standard date question so you do have to be prepared for that.

There is the potential problem down the line when you then have to admit to a lie.

Can you say you are out on a medical leave?

Was there an episode of friends where there was a song or something about a cat? One of them sang it. Who was it?

🐬

[Friends_Fan in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you. You made me laugh 😃. Yes, smelly cat & Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) sang it.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Friends_Fan]

Hahaha..... yes!! She played the guitar singing this. I have the visual. You should post the song

Lmao