Why Doesn’t Positive Self Talk Work?

[Lost-and-Stuck]

Why doesn’t positive self-talk help with reducing anxiety? Why can’t I turn off the switch??? These last 8 years have been torturous.

[Agora1]

Hi Lost and Stuck. It can work and it does work but takes patience and time to

reverse the thoughts within the subconscious mind. I had thought I tried everything

until I turned to Meditation and Breathing exercises. My therapist gave me a cassette

tape years ago and once I started to not only play it but listen intently to each and every

word did my thoughts start changing.

Meditating and Breathing at the end of the day. After years of doing this, I fall asleep

within moments of hearing the first few affirmations. Upon awakening, I listen to the

tape and do my breathing once again in order to start my day on a positive note.

In the afternoon, I do a 5-10 regenerative meditation. I bring my shoulders down away

from my ears and breathe. Those few minutes can clear our mind of the day's stresses.

Better than taking a nap.

When meditating, the subconscious mind picks up all the positive words it is hearing.

Kind of like a brainwashing. After 30 days or so, the negativity starts to dwindle.

This doesn't end there. This is my way of living now. By preparing myself each and every

day, should anxiety or stress overwhelm me, my body automatically goes into breathing

w/o even thinking. Breathing properly was the "key" I was looking for and once I found it

I reached my goal. Don't give up my friend. It does and it will happen when the time is

right and you are ready. xx

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Agora1]

Well said Agora1

[Agora1 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

xx

[LunarEcho24]

I've experienced anxiety issues (at varying degrees and types) for most of my life. So, know that you are not alone in experiencing this.

I think positive self-talk only really helps if you believe it, or it is believable or plausible. Anxiety is a signal in our brain telling us that there is something important that needs paying attention to, and if we completely try to suppress it, shut it out, or just drown it out (with drugs, distraction, or even positive self-talk that we don't believe or doesn't address the underlying issue) then it just keeps coming back and nagging at us.

Now, there are many different types of anxiety or aspects to anxiety, so it might be important to identify more specifically what you're dealing with. Have you ever tried therapy? Medication? Read books on anxiety? Have you done anything else to try to better understand your particular anxiety issues? Do you have issues with worry and generalized anxiety? Is it something specific you have anxiety about? Do you have social anxiety? Is there a real problem that is at play in your life, and you're experiencing anxiety about because you're unable to address it?

I know from experience that you can't just shut anxiety off like a switch. A physical state of anxiety tends to go away on it's own over time, but if it is triggered by a particular thought or situation then it will return, especially if it is something you can't willingly face or address. If it is just habitual worry and not related to anything tangible or something can be addressed by problem-solving, then maybe distraction could help, or maybe allowing the worries to come, recognize them as thoughts, and let them go by as new thoughts will inevitably come into your mind. One exercise therapists suggest is called "leaves on a stream" where you imagine your intrusive thoughts or worries are like leaves floating by on a stream, they come and you note them, then you let them float on by and drift away. This might help with obsessive worry, but doesn't necessarily help to address problems if your thoughts are real tangible problems you need to address in your life. Then you need problem-solving and taking action.

I personally wrestle with generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and have specific phobias. It sucks. I'm trying everything under the sun that might help me, and I understand the torture that you speak of.

[Lost-and-Stuck in reply to LunarEcho24]

In 2018, I’ve been diagnosed with GAD, SAD OCD and major depression. I have educated myself about anxiety over the years, attended therapy on and off and have taken many medications as well. I also have crippling self-doubt, fear of conflict, fear of being assertive and voicing my opinion about a topic. I’m going to bed now but I will continue tomorrow. Thank you for responding.

[Hidden]

I’m not gonna lie- for a really long time I would educate others on cognitive reconstruction and the significant role it would play in their recovery, but I could never do it myself.

Agora1 , as per usually, definitely give really good insight and advice regarding mindfulness. For me, I tried but I was never able to conquer the thoughts in my head, or to ignore them or just let them wash over me and be able to let them go (in fairness I probably got frustrated and quit because it didn’t work immediately- something I have to work on myself).

Recently though, I’ve actually been moderately successful in using positive self talk, and found it definitely helped to alleviate my anxiety (to a point).

I think I was finally able to put it into practice because

1. Medication Change- I’d always felt cognitively foggy, I don’t think I was actually able to recognize my negative thoughts let alone challenge them

-2. Awareness- with that clarity I was able to identify some of what triggered my anxiety- however, my anxiety is mostly free floating and often there isn’t an identifiable trigger. So I tried another approach— I was mindful of the physical reactions that signaled an increase in anxiety and addressed those in conjunction with positive self talk.

3. Cognitive Restructuring- I read somewhere that suggested isolating the activity and associated negative thoughts and then asking myself “if this did actually happen, what’s the worst case scenario/outcome”. For me, it helped to bring me back into reality and then I was able to think more positively.

Not sure if any of this makes sense or is remotely helpful but I hear where you’re coming from- I felt like everyday I was creating my own personal hell with all of my negative thoughts about myself keeping me from engaging in life. I’m still struggling putting stuff into practice but I’m getting there I think (finally- after 20 something years).

I also found that I needed a motivator, a symbol of hope, in order to attempt/engage in to even try doing anything about it. For me, I saw that my medication was finally starting to make some sort of a difference, which provided me with enough hope that my symptoms could be lessen that I was more encouraged to try challenging my negative thinking.

Sorry- that was a lot. What you posted literally was something that I struggled with, and continue to struggle with, for years. I hope you find something that works for you and brings you some peace. ☺️

[Lost-and-Stuck in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[mizzou7016]

Because it's not a 1 and done thing....you have to continuously do it...and it has to be POSITIVE!!!

[Lost-and-Stuck in reply to mizzou7016]

Understood

[mizzou7016 in reply to Lost-and-Stuck]

I struggle with it too....just remember also that it's one day at a time.....and somtimes it's surviving the current day so you can fight again tomorrow