I want to change

[sad_watermelon]

For a long period of time I have been feeling strong negative feelings in certain situations. I am an introvert and I have 3 friends. One of them is unreachable (often into her own activities, doesn't check her phone much). The other one is the busy one (always have something important to do). And the third one is probably my closest one - my ex boyfriend. If you have read my previous post, you probably know a lot about him. In that post I said that he is my only friend, because the other two friendships seem to fall apart because of us never being able to see eachother (this thing happens for 2 years now). So my ex was and still is the person who knows the most about me and who I see most often. But now he too is starting work to help his family (he is 18, I am a year older and preparing for university). I am really happy for him, because his family had difficult financial period and now he'll be helping a lot with that summer job. Except that while being happy for him, a big ball in my stomach and a lot of sad feelings take control over me. I start feeling alone, finding myself in a complete apathy. I start crying the moment I wake up, the whole day I am keeping my tears so I don't worry my parents (they don't understand me when I get these feelings) and all I do is lay in bed, thinking about how lonly I am. I was thinking about starting a job too, so I can distract myself, but it turns out that I will be traveling for 2 weeks abroad for my university preparation, so I won't be able to work. (The trip is just 2 weeks being in a car, nothing special). I am trying to find joy in life again, but I can't. My birthday is comming spoon, but I'm not even excited because I know he'll be working and won't come. These feelings were killing me when we were dating too. If we couldn't see eachother for a few day, I started feeling lonely, crying all day. Same thing was happening when I was hanging out more often with my friends and the second I am alone for a few days, I start getting those feelings. I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be able to be happy. If I can't be happy on my own, then I want to be able to find people. To be truly happy for my friends without having those feelings. Please, if any of you have some tips, some solutions, I will be very grateful

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

I can relate to your story. I only have a few friends. At least two of them live in another state and in another country. The only friend I had here in my same city recently moved away. Though she isn't far away, she's about a 2-hour Drive from where I live. But now I have literally no friends. And I know it's hard. The friends that I'm next closest to. They live in New York. And the fact that I am not near them or around them often they forget about me. So much so that I recently made a post about it. I had sent them a text message just to check in. Because I'm that friend I will message friends to see how they are doing. Even though I do not get the same treatment. I messaged them and it's typical. I don't hear from them right away. But I eventually hear from them. This time it was different. And I started to get worried. What made it worse was that they were still my friends on social media. And I could see their activity. But they just weren't answering. And I made a post here about it. And I was told that I should look to start making new connections. And in order to make new connections I should start looking into joining groups and go to places where people meet. Like join in a gym and taking a cycling class. Though the gym aspect is going to be hard because in order a to meet people there, you have to be working towards a similar goal. Anyways, I eventually heard back from my friends in New York and I was told they had been going through some things and they did not realize they had not told me they got new phone numbers.

And I'm not great at making friends myself. I do much better with animals than I do with people.

But I am trying to take the advice that was offered here. In joining a gym and seeing if I make any connections there. I'm still wary about like joining a Facebook group or something. Because social media tends to be a bit iffy. And then We have a forum like this and I know you. You can get attached to certain members and consider them friends or acquaintances. But you have to be wary cuz some people are not always what they seem. And it can be really bad. Some people have made that mistake.

I wish you a happy birthday. I know you don't feel like celebrating much. But know that your existence in the world means something to someone. And I wish you love and peace 🫂❤️

[sad_watermelon in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you all the best ❤️

[Dolphin14]

sad_watermelon

I don't think it's unusual to feel sad at this time in your life You have big things coming up in your future.

When you get to college you are going to have so many opportunities to meet new people. Even the introvert will find so many new people to bond with.

It's very difficult losing relationships but people grow and life changes along the way.

I hope you head into your college years with an open mind

Best of luck

🐬

[blackcat64013]

Hi Sad Watermelon 🍉,

Thank you for your post.

Trying to move away from the despair I hear in your words requires a couple of things - to STOP, REFLECT and CHANGE with help from a person not part of the issues.

There is work to be done, learning new ways to meet the challenges you mentioned. a therapist is useful. You might even feel a little better as soon as you decide to have therapy, before meeting the therapist.

You need to follow up the good work of recognising a problem by taking steps to address it. You can then you can hope for better days ahead.

💜 🐈‍⬛

[optimismrus]

The good news is that you want to change! It sounds like you will soon have opportunities to break free from your habitual thinking. Try using positive affirmations like, "I love myself fully and unconditionally" or "I am intelligent, capable and lovable". Seriously, you can retrain your thinking. Don't let your ego run your life, take charge. You will succeed because you want to change. You might start by changing your identity from "sad_watermelon" to happy watermelon. Sometimes we have to act "as if" in order to practice new ways of being. Have a fun filled summer. You deserve it. 🥰

[sad_watermelon in reply to optimismrus]

Thank you so much! ❤️