Dreaming about the truth?

[vanessi]

My friends, well people I'm used to meet during weekends and parties asked me about my relationship, I couldn't keep lying and I said everything was over, I was questioned by them and I hated it because as I said I hate to tell my stuff but I think I didn't have option.

On one hand they know that already and on the other hand maybe they will stop asking about him now they know is over so for my own good I prefer they stop talking and asking about him.

My godmother died almost a year ago, I always pray before to bed, I pray to God and then my godmother. I asked her to put images in my dreams of my ex and see if he is doing ok. At the start didn't think it would work but i dreamt of him and his feelings, he told me he was very sad. Sometimes I refuse to believe what is in my dreams is what is in real life. This has happened many times already

When I was Ireland I used to dream a lot of my godmother, she told me my cousin was gonna give birth to a baby boy and that happened, so other things too. I don't believe so much of that but sometimes I doubt it.

Anyways I hope you all are doing ok, I feel very down today, Feb is still here and memories come to my head very often

[countryboy1]

What memories come to your head? Your ex is very sad? How are you feeling? Are you also sad, angry, Are you trying to hide your feelings? Is that why you don't like talking about them?

[vanessi in reply to countryboy1]

Just happy memories come to my head that is why I feel very sad and depressed cos I miss my old life and now is gone. I'm not angry, but I don't trust people. I have this thought that more you show and tell people you are having a bad time more they see your weakness and can hurt you. I have always been around that people. I open myself here cos I know many of you are dealing with the same, you are more capable to understand and don't judge. Apart of that I don't know people from here

[countryboy1 in reply to vanessi]

Vanessi, good morning. How are you holding up?

[gerrerd]

Dear Vanessi Sadness is being preocupied with yourself , so look for things you can do for others. Things do not always change but we can change. It,s vital for you to focus on the good things in your life, for a healthy state of mind. Hope this helps you. Gerrerd.

[vanessi in reply to gerrerd]

I always try to focus on the good things but I simply can't be happy Nothing makes me happy and I got at this point that I see my life pointless

[gerrerd in reply to vanessi]

Dear Vanessi Imagine you are 85 sat in your rocking chair. Then think about what you have not done in your life. Then come back to here and now, then know you have still got the chance to live your life to the full. You have got a fantastic opportunity to do anything you want in life. So start to dwell on the life you want to have, Plan it in your mind you can have anything you want out of life. The past has gone you cannot change it, But you can change your future. See it in your minds eye and it will become real. Hope this helps. I would gladly change places with you if it was possible. What a fantastic opportunity you have, grasp it with both hands. Gerrerd.

[vanessi in reply to gerrerd]

Thank you but still find it really difficult, don't you think i would love to be happy again and enjoying my life? I can't do it right now, I have tried everything, I guess I still need time to heal my wounds.

There is something inside of me that doesn't let me live. I'm depressed and sometimes I blame myself for what has happened to me. I wish you could understand in what way i have love for someone that has gone. I am very sad and it is a big loss.

[gerrerd in reply to vanessi]

Go to u tube and listen to dr wayne dyer but you have to do it every day. Your thoughts create your reality. Control them learn how to, at the moment they are controlling you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Control your thoughts mindfully . Learn that most people have the same thoughts day after day after day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Walk down a new path, have thoughts about what you can change. And about whats possible. Be carefull about thoughts they are your problem at the moment . Start with the way you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Hope this helps, Dont just read my replies study them. Take each bit and think about it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or you wont learn anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gerrerd. Remember The past has gone, The only thing you can change is yourself. Or should I say your thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It,s up to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can only point you in the right direction. Remember. This metaphor You can lead a horse to water. But you cant make him drink. That is up to the horse. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this changes your way of thinking. god knows i am trying my hardest i can to do this. So now its up to you.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only person that can change is you. And your the only person that can do it. Lots of love From Ray.

[nimon]

Thanks for sharing. Memories last forever and hang onto the good ones. I’ve come to realize that my mind can play tricks on me. In the end we can’t predict the future or read minds. Sometimes you have to give up one love to find another one. The days will be better. Maybe doing a new activity and meeting new people helps, it helped me get through tough times.

[vanessi in reply to nimon]

I have changed one love for another one but this love is different. I can't just turn off my feelings. I meet people but I'm not looking for a new man, I don't want another love. I only want to feel ok again, learn to live without my love. I just want to have peace

[gerrerd in reply to vanessi]

Dear Vanessi I was just reading a news paper article from a Dr Guy Winch. And thought it may help you understand what may be going on. Here goes if you are having strange behaviour. You worry you,re having some sort of breakdown. Fear not Scientists have proved that the emotional pain of a break-up can flood your body with stress hormone cortisol. Which not only suppresses the immune system. But also severely taxes your coping mechanisms-which is why tiny irritations seem like the end of the world. He says, how to fix it . Recognise that it,s normal when we catch ourselves behaving in unusual ways and worry we might be loosing it ,we need to remember our reactions are natural responses to emotional pain. There are even names for the feelings we go through. In the protest phase we,ll do anything to get back with our ex. While the next period of abandonment rage is characterised by feelings of fury and devastation . Reassuring ourselves that we are not going crazy can help us remove at least one source of stress. This is just a bit of it , Let me know if you want me to write more of it for you because there,s loads of good info in it. Lots of love, Ray. Hope this helps you!

[vanessi in reply to gerrerd]

Yes ok, do it! i feel very sad today

[hypercat54]

Hi you haven't got to explain anything to anyone if you don't want too. By all means tell them if you want that the relationship is over but say you don't want to talk about it. If they are friends they should respect your feelings. If they don't then are they friends? It's fine to tell people (in a nice way) to mind their own business. x

[vanessi in reply to hypercat54]

I agree with you. I actually told him cos I want they to stop asking me about him. I just said is over, I didn't have to but I gave a short explanation of it and for me that topic is finished. I just try to be polite but won't tell more than i want.

[hypercat54 in reply to vanessi]

Good. Well done. x

[HearYou]

Agree with hypercat54. Politely respond it just didn't work out. If they pursue to ask questions, just repeat that.

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

Yes I will, for me it is a finished topic. It is hard to explain what happened cos I still love my ex and hurt me to remember the story and I get so sad. Still hurts me and I'm not prepared to talk about it without feeling like crying. So I prefer not to share what is affecting me.

[HearYou]

This what I do when someone asks for information that is private. I just say it didn't work out, that's not worth talking about, or I change the subject. If it's someone who isn't very nice, I say that's a private matter.

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

Yes, I'm trying to do that without sounding rude

[Hardlookcap in reply to vanessi]

It’s rude of them to even ask. Why would they want to make you relive the details knowing it’s a painful process? I have always hated that about people. There is no benefit of them knowing and there’s no benefit of you explaining. All they should be saying is... we’re here if you need something.

[vanessi in reply to Hardlookcap]

Yes, well they were not rude but I didn't feel comfy telling my stuff, as I said I only told them so we all can finish it up.

It is very hard for me cos it still hurts. I prefer to post my stories here, at least some of you can understand my suffering

[HearYou]

If someone is persistent and won't quit asking, be rude. "It's my business, not yours."

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

Yes I will, thanks for the advice I will try to be patient, polite and kind. But if smth is bothering me I will let them know.

[HearYou]

Good!