I am Anxiety disorder suffer pls help me I need a help

[nzbs5678]

I am Ajoy Das I suffered a lot from my childhood my father was a very bad person he used to torture my mother a lot he only asked my mother to pay money and did not feed my mother properly and beat my mother. Many me and mother moved to my grandfather my grandmother is very good I was a little different from everyone since childhood my life was never happy our family was going through a lot of trouble but I couldn't do anything then pressure started coming from all sides my mental problems started anxiety Hall I can't eat properly I can't sleep I can't do anything My father rejected me and didn't accept me as a son My father is a very bad person I am going through a lot. difficult everyone makes fun of me they say i am nothing i am not modern everyone hurts me i think there is no place for me in this world i don't want these less intelligent people everyone makes fun of me in this world i am stupid i want to do this in life so Not to offend anyone I'm in a situation where I went to work in a shopping mall and everyone made fun of me because I didn't understand anything. I was mentally abused. I'm not as smart as everyone else. People like us who are not very intelligent, society can't look like everyone else, they are very common people, it is a sin to be born in this world because I am stupid, I have no right to live in this world, I am a human being, how much will I tolerate, my right to live there is I left my job my financial condition is not very good I had a wish I don't know if it will be fulfilled to make my mother happy but I am stressed from all sides my mental condition is very bad I have no right to stay in this world. This society destroys and depresses those who are a little less intelligent.

[Agora1]

bzbs5678, you have every right to be in this world as each one of us does.

Your father's behavior was barbaric in which he probably learned from his

father. You are here for a reason and that may be to break this pattern

of brutality within the family. Each one of us brings something different to

the table and that's what can make things go from bad to good.

I'm sure your mother loves you unconditionally and is proud to have you as a

son. Don't allow your father's judgement tear you down. Be who you were

meant to be. Be proud of yourself. Time to turn the tables on your past experiences.

With hope and belief, this can be done. xx

[Tracey0101]

You have every right to be in this world they are liars to you don't believe them there are people in this world that will put you down to the ground and class you as nothing you are worthy and you deserve better I have my older sister who put me down all my life and bullied me physically and mentally and emotionally and socially etc and I broke through her a couple of years ago after all my life since a baby she couldn't accept me as her sister and still doesn't she is 56 and I am 54 now. I have had friends that were similar but I have now broke up with them as well. I have people in my life now that are good people and good to me. I thought I was stupid and silly and ugly and I can't do anything and I felt like nothing and I felt that I was a bad person and that I was ashamed of myself and not good enough for this world and that I don't deserve nothing in this world but how wrong I was they are the ones that are bad and horrible not you or me and many others that have had the same as us. You can do something good in your life that you are good at or that you have a interest in maybe when you were younger. I found purpose just only last year that when I was younger I loved colouring and I love letters and writing songs and I can create the tunes from the words as well and I love reading books and I like numbers but I wasn't good at maths I am good at dates when I started particular things like my favourite school, or holidays or church or art group or singing group etc something like that you may find peace and hope that you are better than you think you are even if its one positive thing you did when you were younger that you were good at or enjoyed doing work on this certain things to find out if it's finds your purpose. As I started colouring letters a year ago and I found my purpose and my value and who I really am and I have a gift to give love and hope in this world giving others love in this world. I have done about 800+ of my letter colouring to others for £1 each and the donations goes to charity and I have done welcome signs to hospital departments Doctor surgery, Dentists, school and charity centres and groups and church and care company their work places and people's names and initials and whatever anyone asks me to do I do them. I have also got a lovely young lad who is 14yrs and no one ever thought that I would ever have a child he has autism and adhd and learning disabilities like myself and other conditions but he's a lovely caring young lad. When I see him he takes over my carer's job and takes care of me and he has been like this since he was a year old he has been given a gift. I knew when I was.pregnant something about protection towards me this baby was coming into my life for to take care of me and I thought it was against my older sister but no it was his dad he told his dad to leave his mum alone don't hurt my mummy she's my mummy and I will not let you hurt her. He sat next to me and comfort me and said its OK mum and he stroke my face and hair and said it will be OK don't worry mum I will not let my dad hurt you. I suppose to take care of him but he wants to take care of me instead. Because he loves me and while we spend time together he's not letting anyone take care of me he takes over the care role and my carer just leaves him to it. He has said to his professionals when he is old enough he wants to come and take care of his mum. He doesn't want to have a wife or children he wants to take care of me. Bless his lovely heart. It was unconditional love in action with son and mum. He is a miracle baby because I had a attack in 1990 when I was 20yr and the surgeon said that I may not have children because of the injury to my womb but they were wrong I did have a child even though it was very hard going for carrying him especially when it was late pregnancy it was really difficult going. I did at to have a c section but I still had a baby now 14yrs. I am so glad I stayed in this world despite of those who bullied me and was horrible to me all my life but I had my son when I just turned 40yr 6wks after my birthday I had my son and it was worth it in the end. I stay away from the bullies and try to be around nice people. I never thought that I could have nice people around me but I have nice people around me. Don't believe those he tell you that you are stupid or silly or ugly and all the negatives they are really showing you who they really are and not how you are so be around positive people because they uplift you and not put you down they build you up and say good things about you. I now know the truth and they are liars so don't believe the liars they were pull you right down ti the ground believe in positive things that people may tell you like they may say you deserve better or you are a nice person and you deserve love and respect and kindness and be gentle on yourself love yourself first and then you can love others be kind to you and be grateful for what you have got and not what you haven't got. You have life you are breathing you have got through another day and you are still fighting and battling life difficulties and struggles etc. You have a roof over your head, clean clothes, food and drinks and hot and cold water electric and gas heating a bed to sleep in etc and it does make a difference when you thinking what you have got and it makes you so grateful and thankful for you got what you need for today. Worry about tomorrow when it arrives because tomorrow isn't promise.