Doubtful and discouraged

[Poetry_n_more]

I don’t like to complain and I certainly hate being a whiner but I acutely feel the need to reach out for any sympathetic and maybe encouraging voices. I am in stage 4 emphysema and contemplating getting ‘hospice’ involved.

At the age of 75 years I thought that some of the big questions might have been answered by now. But notwithstanding the years spent in searching for the ultimate truth I have yet to know in the depths of my soul whether God is real or a created figment of man’s imaginations made up to placate the fears of death. And yes I am scared of dying for there is so much unfinished business that needs to be attended to. There are so many regrets for not letting people in my life know what I truly felt for them in my heart. It has always been difficult to express love.

So if anyone can relate a personal experience they have had that gave them encouragement in the belief that God is real and that He cares I would like to hear your story of hope.

[Nothing_but_books]

I wasn't sure I should respond because I do not believe in God at all. But I saw you're not getting answered, and although I don't believe in a caring deity, I care. This video comforts me, it lets me feel less alone.

youtube.com/watch?v=cPgFwz2...(Not working as expected?)

[Poetry_n_more in reply to Nothing_but_books]

The honesty is refreshing, both yours and that of Ellison's. Thanks for the uplift, it helps to know that I'm in good company.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Poetry_n_more]

Thank you so much! For both comments. Nice to see you again.

[Bucksnort442544]

seems those are some of the same questions I have! Not sure anyone every answers them, but I admire the fact your honest and still searching!!

[Poetry_n_more in reply to Bucksnort442544]

Religion has been a constant in life. So much so that I was too focused on the end that it seems I forgot to live. Thanks for your comments, I hold out hope that we all get the answers someday.

[Hidden]

I am sorry to hear about your illness. I believe in God. Without getting into religion, God loves you and I will pray for you. It’s always good to talk/post when you are feeling alone or anxious.

[Poetry_n_more in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply. It is encouraging to know that many others have found a place to believe. Thanks

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Sorry to hear about your illness. I'm an agnostic or some would say a procrastinating atheist lolI don't know who or what God is exactly.

But I think with whatever time you have left on this little blue marble we call Earth. I don't think the best use of that time should be spent on worrying about unfinished business or past regrets. What's done is done. Can't change that. Can only focus on the now. So tell people you have around you now that you love them very much. And share your story with them. Share your knowledge. Maybe that will give you some peace.

There's a quote from an anime cartoon I liked about death. It goes " Do not fear Death. Death is always by our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity."

Wishing you peace and love 🫂 ❤️

[hypercat54 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Great response. As usual a very sensible and realistic reply from you x

[Poetry_n_more in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thank you, it is good advice and I agree that some things are a waste of time. It seems like regrets are the essence of hell and the punishments demand to take their toll. Thanks again. I too wish you peace and love.

[blackcat64013]

Hi,You are so welcome to post about your condition and your feelings that go with it. These are important links, the body and mind.

My dad passed away just on 3 months ago and the peace from his belief in God was amazing.

The best thing he did for us putting together a small book of his life and his hopes for our futures.

I agree with Clevergirl about concentrating on the future which by the way includes thinking about which practical supports & services you need today and next week. Sometimes there is a delay in palliative arrangements which means you suffer discomfort unnecessarily.

Hoping you can find your happy place on the journey ahead. 🙏 🐈‍⬛

[Poetry_n_more in reply to blackcat64013]

Sorry for your loss, my folks passed many years ago and it is still keenly felt. That is a good idea, what your dad did for you in writing the book. It might help me to bridge the gap. I know kids often have very high expectations of their parents and that it is a hard lesson to learn that parents are just fallible people too. Thank you for your caring, I'll be looking for that 'happy place'. Thanks

[Poetry_n_more]

Thank you for your response. I have at times felt as though ultimately everything is going to work out for the good. I can recognize the need and the wisdom but I keep getting sidetracked by fear.