i just dont know

[storm2243]

soooooo recap im homeless and a friend took me and my son in for free i will never be able to repay them for what they are doing for us, i will be forever in their debt but i hate being here its not my house, i dont cook what i want even my parenting skills are being questioned i feel like i am lucky to have friends to do this for me but at the same point there should be boundaries and i feel like they are over stepping theirs. but i dont want to say anything because of everything they are doing for us,, i need advise please.. mind you my son has "issues" and is thriving here t i feel like they are trying to raise him and i dont know...

[Starrlight]

your feelings are a big deal. I get it’s hard to speak up but they have no right to take over with your son. Nope. I would remind them that you are his mother and you can handle it, whatever they are stepping over with. I’m glad you have shelter.

[storm2243 in reply to Starrlight]

but how do you say something when they are doing so much for you? they aren't doing it in a negative way they are just .. i don't even know how to explain it

[Starrlight in reply to storm2243]

Oh well you know best what’s best for you and your son. I don’t mean to do anything specific, whatever works out.

[storm2243 in reply to Starrlight]

i have wanted to respond but im scared that ill actually end up in a shelter

[Starrlight in reply to storm2243]

That makes sense. I understand.

[Starrlight in reply to storm2243]

💜

[cashew78]

Have you reached out to organizations that could help you? I know you don't want to be in a shelter, but perhaps they have staff who can start helping you connect with the services you need to get a place of your own? And, if your friends are overstepping there bounds and making you feel bad, that's a legitimate issue. It's a difficult conversation to have if you can't put your finger on it, but with a bit of reflection and thought, you can start figuring out what you need to say. Then it might be worth having that difficult conversation with them sooner rather than later. Friendships have and need boundaries too, just like any relationship. If those boundaries are not respected, or worse used to belittle someone, there's an issue. Just my thoughts. Good luck; sorry to hear it's not going so smoothly right now for you :/

[ACE135]

Hi.You said your son is thriving living there which is fantastic and is definitely worth considering before you approach your friends about the issues you have with them. Are your friends interference negatively affecting your relationship with your son?

It sounds like you don't have many options at the moment which I'm sure is terrifying and soul-crushing. I've been in a similar position and it definitely takes your confidence and makes you feel inadequate. Whilst you work on getting better options, I do think it's important to way up the pros and cons of living where you are currently compared to what you would be living in if your friends didn't let you live with them. Are you and your son safe, warm, dry, fed, clothed and have access to clean water? Your feelings are very important and valid, and I understand how unsettling and uncomfortable it is to have to live in someone else's house and not feel relaxed, I'm just thinking that if you approach them, you might hit a nerve and create hostility that leads them to asking you to move out. Obviously, I can't judge your situation clearly as I don't have all the facts and I'm not personally involved. Your feelings do matter, but it's important to think with your head not your heart sometimes. I hope things improve for you very soon.