i dont think i have ever felt this de... - Anxiety and Depre...

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i dont think i have ever felt this depressed


So lately i just feel like my life has been falling apart and I dont even know how or where to begin to fix it all. I dont let anyone see me cry, i hide my cuts because I dont want my husband, children or coworkers to see them. I am tired from the time i wake up and no amount of sleep helps. I have been very b**chy lately with myself and everyone around me. I lost my cool with a customer at work this past weekend and was called into the office today. I honestly have no idea if i will have a job tomorrow when i go in. I was told not to worry that im not losing my job but my anxiety, depression and blood pressure are through the roof worried about it. I havent been sexual with my hisband in probably a month or so and I so mad at myself because I just dont have the drive or even want it and i feel like a failure of a wife because of it. We allowed my daughter to try cyber school and it has been crazy stressfull since she just started. I wake up at 4:30 every morning for work, get home and help my daughter with her work, make dinner, do dishes, take my son to work, pick him up and i feel like its just me doing everything. It is affecting my job and home life and i just want to escape. I feel if i call my doctors and break down they may commit me and I cant afford that. I just cant get away from all the negative thoughts and i just want to escape life :(

5 Replies

Hi maldonado, firstly, thank you for sharing your post here, we are all here to support each other with our struggles. I have 4 children and I know you never have time for yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but when you're struggling, accept any help you can. Do confide in your doctor, it took me a long time to do it myself but I'm now getting help and feeling stronger. I really hope they understand at work and that you get things sorted. Sending you big supportive hugs and here any time you want to talk. Stay strong. xx :)

You have a lot on your plate. I think anyone would feel overwhelmed. Does your husband help you juggle all of this? If not, he needs to step up. Are there things you can cut out? Can someone help drive your son? Or can your daughter get tutoring through her on-line school? Please don't let things go too far before you reach out to your doctor. Your kids and husband need you.

thank you ladies for your support. I plan to see my doctor but I need to let my arms heal as I feel if i go now and they see them they will commit me and I dont have insurance and cant afford that. plus being the one who holds everyone else together and the house together i just cant. My husband usually does not help with anything. he always tells me that i need to let him know if i need help but i just feel like i should not have to ask for help with things. Being a spiuse i think you should just help with things and not allow one person to juggle it all. As for my son and him getting to work I am the only one who can get him to work since my hisband works until 6. He could pick him up but does not ever offer to unless im dead tired and falling asleep on the sofa. On a good note coming into work today, i didnt get fired just got a warning for the situation that happened.

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I am so sorry you are going through this. My advice would be to let your husband know what you are going through. Together you decided to go through everything together (even the things that are tough to talk about.) Have you thought about speaking with a professional like a therapist? They will know the best way to deal with what you are going through. I hope everything gets better!

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