Sitting next to my fellow housemates

[EricJones]

As I sit next to my fellow housemates and the staff member.. Hyper vigilance runs over me. I feel overly focused on the staff members and everything that everyone is doing. I'm concerned that they'll pick up on it and change their body language or give me a look out of the corner of the eyes. that gives me a notification that i'm doing something wrong or weird or strange. how likely is this?

[Dolphin14]

Hi Eric

Have you ever noticed that they have done that before?

🐬

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

no, but i fear it...what do i do if i fear it?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

Keep telling yourself it's never happened before so the chances are slim it will happen today.

Focus on the content of your group, they are most likely doing the same.

Deep breaths, positive self talk, remember how far you have come

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

its not a group....its just people sitting around and talking...so i'm afraid that they'll catch me being weird...do you think if they see me on my laptop they'll just leave me alone?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

I think they will probably leave you alone if you look busy. It's just as casual thing, whoever feels like chatting will chat?

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

so if my head moves around alot and i'm flinchy... they'll still leave me alone and thing nothing of it?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

Someone may ask if you are ok. I don't think they would be rude to you

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

but i dont want them to ask if i'm ok or not

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

They probably won't. How is it going so far

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

no ones here anymore, but it went pretty well...my guard is still up when I'm around people and i still think i move around a bit weird but no one said anything about it or seemed that distressed by me

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

That's awesome Eric

You need to remember every single time things go well. It's called a corrective experience. You will see more times that go better than not. This will boost your confidence and help alleviate some fear

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

but how do I bring my guard down?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

With time it will come naturally. You probably won't even notice it at first. The anxiety will feel less overwhelming

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

so just keep being around people long enough to realize that me being hyper vigilant is ok, and if its noticeable its barely and its acceptable?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

Yes, that's the way to think about it. We can retrain ourselves that we can be safe. Something happened to you once and it left a huge impact on your life. With time, practice and patience, you will see that bad things don't happen every time and that's when the hypervigilant behaviors will shift

[Agora1]

Eric, I'd say it is very unlikely that they would notice anything unusual coming from you.

Why?? Because they are most likely going through the same thoughts and concerns as

you. You may not think they are because it doesn't show. And neither does your mannerism.

xx

[EricJones in reply to Agora1]

you think my mannerisms dont show? so when i get super tense and stiff and slower (head movements), they are hard to pick up on?

[Agora1 in reply to EricJones]

Eric, they not only don't show but they are hardly noticed by others because

they have their own insecurities to worry about. Believe me

[EricJones in reply to Agora1]

so they dont see my mannerisms or dont care about them if they do see them?

[EricJones in reply to EricJones]

is that true lol

[Agora1 in reply to EricJones]

Eric, remember that you are all there for a reason as we are all here in this

community for a reason. None of us judge on this site but rather understand

and support each other. It's the same no matter where a group of people

gather for help. AA is another place where they share their stories because they

understand. If someone has the shakes from Alcohol, no one looks down at him

and judges. They have all been there. You have nothing to be a shamed of.

We all have our issues that need to be addressed. You truly are no different than

any of us. I also use to jump while sitting in a group. I use to go forward while

standing. Blame it on the over sensitized nervous system. The more you focus

on these movement, the more they will come about. Breathe and relax. One day

you will be more sympathetic to others going through the same thing, because you

understand.

[EricJones in reply to Agora1]

most likely the truth