Question and concern about identity

[MetalEnjoyer]

I think I have dissociated identity disorder. Its just that I don't think its severe like with some people. I don't think of myself as multiple people. But for me I feel like my personality is fragmented. Like I can't express certain things without fighting the fear. I express things better than others its why I think its why I was so angry all the time almost like sometimes a trigger or emotional flashback flips me to anger. Than I can be like that for days. While on top of that I'm disassociated like I'm distantly controlling myself. Is there anyone else out there with a certain diagnosis that can maybe explain what its like for them.

I am going to therapy. I actually have an appointment next week and this is gonna be one of the first things I talk about.

[MetalEnjoyer]

Damn, I've been thinking about this all day and reflecting. This definition and explanation just put it into words. Thank you. I definitely think I have it now because for me it has lasted years. Only until recently and its disorienting. I'm pretty sure I have like this alter trauma ego that just wants to fight back. In fight or flight and it can last all day like what happened last week.

[MetalEnjoyer]

Have you seen the movie split? If you have I now understand that mans condition even though I'm not at that extreme. He literally would dissociate to deal with trauma and form an entire personality that than traumatized him on repeat. With more personalities. I can see now how that happens. I even get blackout moments where i did something bad than I'm suddenly in extreme confusion toward what I did. Mostly because I'm not entirely sure why I did it or what I did sometimes. A lot of the time I'd just forget it and I'd remember it as a regressed memory.

That movie was also really hard to watch because of the traumatizing things he did to others. It always made me feel uneasy and mad. I think might know why.

[MetalEnjoyer]

Its a really good phycology horror movie about a guy who has 23 recorded personalities. All very violent and not healthy as individuals. I recommend it. Especially if you understand the all the character's issues.