Emotions and anxiety

So I think I figured out why I have anxiety and that's emotional instability. Is it possible to learn how to control your emotions in a healthy way even at 30 years old? I'm the type that holds things in and it eats away at me. I think that's what caused my nervous breakdown because I never learned how to release my emotions in a healthy way. I'm planning on seeing a counselor to help me. Anyone else bottle things up? What exactly are healthy emotions ? Is it ok to express anger or sadness or do you keep those types of emotions in? Thanks for any advice !!

[gogogirl]

Of course it's okay to express anger and sadness it's part of being human.

[Hidden]

I think half of battle of expressing yourself is the fear of what people will think about you. Maybe you learning to be comfortable with your feelings/ emotions, will help with the overall fear of expression. So take baby steps if it helps.

[ComingUpRoses]

I hold everything in and have all my life. It certainly hasn't been good for me as I'm having little breakdowns more and more frequently. I wind up screaming and crying alone in the car a lot so I don't bother anyone else with my emotions. I definitely think it's healthy to express your emotions. It's finding a constructive way to do it where it doesn't hurt anyone (i.e. being angry and throwing something at someone or hitting them) that is key. Seeking counseling is a great first step. They should be able to help you find coping mechanisms and healthy ways to express your emotions. I wish you the best of luck with counseling.

[hypercat54]

Hi you need to learn to express your negative emotions but in a socially acceptable way. Many of us never had our feelings validated as children and have great difficulty understanding, feeling, and dealing with our emotions. We get used to as children thinking they aren't important so push them away and down. This gets to be an unhealthy habit and causes no end of problems in our adult lives.

The trouble with that is they keep emerging again and biting us in the ass! I think counselling is the way to go for you as you can express your feelings in a safe place and learn constructive ways to get your emotions to work for you rather than against you. x

[hypercat54]

Don't you hate it when you take time and trouble to reply to someone and they delete their account without any explanation? It makes me wonder sometimes why I reply to new people!

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Lol..calm down..you can reply to me I'll still be here..

[Mbroker27]

Don't be hard on yourself. Two things which r beginning to help me are meditation and DBT group therapy. It is not easy but I know I must push through it. Don't worry about what others say they r not in your shoes. To feel sad is okay. Be good to yourself. I am there for you.