So Close Yet So Far...: Is anybody else... - Anxiety and Depre...

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So Close Yet So Far...

NightCrier profile image
9 Replies

Is anybody else in desperate need of help? Like, internally you can admit to yourself that you need help, and you have resources to get the help, but something is holding you back from getting it... That's where I am now. I frequently feel empty or overwhelmed or unable to express what I'm feeling because there's just too much going on inside, so I shut down. And when I don't shut down I think about all the people who I could ask for help from and then don't got to them to get the help because I don't know what to say. Sometimes I will walk toward the person hoping to express myself or process something, but then something in me tells me to pull back and I shy away, leaving me with the same feelings I had prior to attempting to ask for support. I don't know how to stop the voice inside of me telling me not to get help, but I also don't know what to say if/when the voice is gone.

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NightCrier profile image
NightCrier
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9 Replies
Tellmeaboutit profile image
Tellmeaboutit

it is extremely difficult to ask for help the first time, but when you recognize the cycle that youre stuck in, which you describe so well, you know that you needto do it.

concentrate on only the first step: get yourself in to see a counselor/therapist, and just dont worry about what you will say when you get there

once you are there, the words will probably come. but even if they dont, your therapist will be able to figure out whats going on -maybe slowly at first. even if you sit there and dont say anything, they may start to ask you specific questions, for example. its never as bad as we immagine that it will be.

another thought you might try: write down some notes when youre feeling low, and take the notes with you when youre feeling up to talking to someone.

most important, stick with it. its easy to think everything is fine when its really just a fleeting remission.

writeback and tell us how youre doing

NightCrier profile image
NightCrier in reply to Tellmeaboutit

I have an appointment set for tomorrow, hopefully I'll be able to say that "I have no idea how to describe what's happening, but something is going on that's making me feel unsettled," or something similar. I'll let you know how it goes.

Tellmeaboutit profile image
Tellmeaboutit in reply to NightCrier

hey thats great! if the words fail you completely maybe pull up the post you put here?

just a thought.

good luck

NWGal profile image
NWGal

Oh yeah friend, I know the feeling. I knew I needed psychotherapy but just didn't want to go there. I was afraid. I didn't want anyone probing my dark places but knew I needed to explore them. It was such a relief when I decided to take the journey. Seems like as I got older it was easier to disclose dark events (now 64) because I really wasn't worried about rejection or judgment. That being said, people who do not understand mental illness cannot be expected to know what goes on in that brain of ours.

NightCrier profile image
NightCrier in reply to NWGal

I know my therapist won't judge me, but something tells me that she will... It's so hard to fight it and then I get "in trouble" for not communicating, which is something I've been working on when I get deep into my feelings.

Yes especially since people in my family told me that they don't care about my feelings

NightCrier profile image
NightCrier in reply to

I get that 100%. My family doesn't seem to engage with me much until I'm in crisis.

in reply to NightCrier

Whenever my family found out I was feeling like this they did nothing, even after I attempted suicide

NightCrier profile image
NightCrier in reply to

Sorry that happened.... I guess we're in the same boat. When I was the one in the hospital, everything seemed to be about how my family felt about me being in the hospital and not me.

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