Is it time to resume medication

[Needtovent]

I had a significant panic episode after not having any (of this degree) for several years. I had weaned off my antidepressant as I was doing well and just used a (very) occasional benzo - usually if I was flying somewhere. Now since last week and things are settling down, I’m feeling my mood is becoming more depressed. I have no interest in my usual activities and feel I’m just going through the motions of life. I’m eating OK again (loss of appetite is usually a sign of downward spiral for me), but I just can’t find anything to smile about. I just took a recertification exam for a particular credential i need to maintain. I passed but am upset that I didn’t get 100 - I feel like quitting this (part time) job. I’m in my 60s and find myself thinking more and more about death. I’m thinking of restarting mirtazipine. What to do?

[Dolphin14]

Needtovent

I'm sorry you are feeling depressed. If your quality of life is changing in a negative way it might be a good idea to see your Dr. Meds don't mean forever.

Congrats on your recertification. Young people have this saying now that makes me laugh..... C's = degrees. When I heard that it took the stress off always feeling I need 100%. Pass is pass, try not to put so much pressure on yourself

I hope you start to feel better soon

🐬

[Needtovent in reply to Dolphin14]

I like that expression. Something my son would say….I got a 90, but feel like the incorrect answers were trick questions and that makes me upset. This is just a volunteer position I hold and put a lot of work into maintaining my credentials. My primary doc has prescription for me the last couple of times. She’ll defer to my judgement I’m pretty sure (unless of course I was asking for access to more or new meds). The Remeron has been helpful so I may just ask her to renew it. And you’re right, doesn’t have to be forever. Thanks

[BlueAgave]

Not sure if you see a therapist, but it may be helpful to work out what's happening right now. No shame in starting medication again, especially if it helped before. I've been on meds almost my entire life and actually wished they worked to the point of being able to wean off, so that's a huge win for you. Congrats on passing your recertification! That's a great accomplishment! I wish you peace.

[Needtovent in reply to BlueAgave]

I was thinking to try and reconnect with my last therapist. She’s in my age range so don’t know if she may have retired. I guess I won’t know unless I ask. Just don’t know if I have the energy to start with someone new. Gotta weigh this in my head….

[BlueAgave in reply to Needtovent]

It can be difficult starting off new, but you never know, she may still be working. It also may help to have someone new, different perspective possibly. Do what you feel is comfortable for you. 🥰

[RizzKalifa]

A pass is a pass!! It is sad that we are so hard on ourselves. Well done and well deserved. In my experience I have always had anxiety and depression come back when I stopped. Sometimes it took a year, sometimes a few weeks and so on. If the meds help you, then choose that to help. My late mother helped stayed on that medication for life for anxiety and it helped immensely.

[ConureDad]

I'll be 58 this year and think about death a lot because it's something we all have to do. I'm going back to school for my degree in psychology so I feel you on the grade thing. The nurse where I work keeps reminding me, if you aren't number one then it doesn't matter, a passing grade is a passing grade so that is what I remind myself. I would def talk to your doc about meds, like others have said, meds don't mean forever and at the risk of feeling better it is worth it! Keep in there!

[cashew78]

Something to consider; I was backsliding into depression and severe anxiety attacks AND trying to get seen by a doctor to get back on antidepressants. Turns out that I have a heart condition, and all the symptoms from the depression and anxiety may fully or partially have to do with the physiological rather than just the mental. A proper check up *may* help, but for me the going back onto antidepressants also made sense. Refused to feel ashamed of it on any level; I know they've helped in the past and I may be able to get off of them eventually. Now, a few months later, I can see the situation more clearly and evaluate my next steps more appropriately. It's just a thought. Just like my own mortality, it's just something I'll have to be aware of and manage.

[Midori]

I would say it would be a good idea to restart your medication, even if only for a few months, seems like it would help.

Congratulations on you recertification, but don't expect perfection from yourself. You passed.

Cheers, Midori