How do you feel about someone who's never had the issue you're having, try to talk about it as if it's this perfectly manageable thing?

[MiamiJacket84]

Because for me it's absolutely infuriating. It feels condescending, like I'm being pittied. You know nothing about what it's really like to never be loved. You've never felt that loneliness, people around you actually accepted you, liked you, loved you. You know absolutely nothing. All I hear from their babble is "oh you poor thing, don't worry you'll definitely find someone soon!". How tf do you know? You're just pulling that out of your ass. You're just repeating cookie cutter bullshit thinking it'll make me feel better. It doesn't, I hate it. You have absolutely no idea if I can ever find someone, you're making claims based on jack shit. How is this supposed to make anyone feel better? Very few people actually get it. Unfortunately those people are just as messed up as me...

[litethatnevergoesout]

did this recently happen? it doesn’t take someone to be as messed up as you are to actually get it. they exist. there are many people who do not understand and so it’s just not possible for it to register on their scope at all. you’re obviously upset. is this about finding someone or are you using that as an example of how poorly people can relate to your plight?

[MiamiJacket84 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

It literally just happened.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to MiamiJacket84]

exactly like you explained it? to answer your post though, yeah I hate it too. it’s a toss up whether or not I feel like I’ve wasted my time and end up feeling terrible about myself and worse about my situation. I want people to get it but thats not realistic. usually I’ll come across someone that maybe has gone through something similar years ago and found a way out and I take a chance to connect but it ends up what worked for them can’t really work for me and I hate that too. but I’m like good for you.

[MiamiJacket84 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

No because my inferiority complex towards him makes it a lot worse. He has a lot of his own issues and he's far from perfect, I just focus on my own incompetence.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to MiamiJacket84]

you tried having a conversation about never feeling loved and opened up to them about it? how close are you with him? are they aware of your struggles? I’m not going to say do not feel inferior that would be insulting, but I hope you are able to give yourself a little more room though.

[MiamiJacket84 in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

It's entirely my own perception being the issue, too many people tried talking to me about it.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to MiamiJacket84]

I understand. I keep rereading your post. it does seem like pity you’re right and it is not authentic. cookie cutter stuff. disingenuous I think is the word.

[Downinil]

You’re right about people talking c***. They tell us these things to comfort themselves because they feel helpless. They just don’t know how to help.

[Elizabeth830]

I know exactly what you mean. Those people always make it sound so easy

[Craigliving4Jane]

Hey Miami

My opinion is the only way we can truly relate and possibly help someone is to put our heart, mind and soul inside of that other person the best, the very best we can.

How else are we to know the true pain. The true loneliness. The lack of love that they feel from others and maybe themselves. In reality, there’s absolutely no way we can know what another person is really going through and also what we can do help them find different avenues, but if we’re gonna advise somebody, we have to try our very best to come as close as possible as we can .

In my experience, it’s not very easy to do, there’s not a lot that really do it well and I’m working to get better at it every day

[BonDon15]

They have no idea of the pain you go through. Just I hope you never have to go through this.

GOD BLESS

[bethelbee]

Anyone that hasn't experienced what we have will never understand. If you feel like they're being condescending and just giving you 'cookie cutter bs', tell them they'll never understand and walk away.

[roses4all]

Yeah, I hate that too. Another thing I hate... is when someone tells you what you feel. (

And they get it WRONG! ... And then they want to help with what they got wrong... a problem that doesn't exist.... maybe it's their problem. I dunno.

On the other hand, I bit the bullet and chose a new psychologist at the end of December 2023. And I told him, ''I don't care if you can identify with what I've lived... as long as you have the competence to help me dig myself out of this hell.'' And I think he is doing it. .... But he NEVER says poor you. He NEVER tells me what I am thinking or what I feel.

One of the things he says is that my brain is bullshiting me. It is reacting to the past instead of staying in the present. It is hard to reprogram your head.

[faucet]

I get annoyed and upset