How do I do it?

[EricJones]

How do i start believing that people aren't looking at me and that i'm not going to be gawked at being i'm weird. How do i let it sink in i'm okay to be me without having to deal with the stress of people being uneasy about me?

[Downinil]

Eric, it take time to make peace with yourself as you are. Once I developed that peace I stopped caring what others thought of me.

[jackiesj in reply to Downinil]

remember they have thier own issues. if we could see the lives of others we wouldnt be so hard on ourselves.

[Downinil in reply to jackiesj]

Hi Jackie’s! I’m only giving him information on how I overcame the situation he struggles with. I’m not trying to tell anyone else how to resolve their issues. I’m only trying to help.

[Sunrisetabby]

Do you have a tribe? Have you heard of, or read, Tribe by Sebastian Junger on Homecoming and Belonging? Many people like me are introverted and don't really like people - I especially don't like myself. BUT, it is very difficult, especially for those suffering from depression and loneliness to escape the primal need to be part of and contribute to a community. Why do you think you are weird? Everyone's weird and has problems, some people just intentionally mask it more than others. Something else I have struggled with is trying to find mentors. Thanks to modern technology you can learn a nearly infinite amount by listening to lectures or performances by the greatest minds - but what excites you, who do you want to be more like? Looking back at high school, everyone thought the "goth kids" those who dressed in black and wore black makeup and smoked and had dark humor were really weird. I wasn't, but I tried really hard to be a jock and cool kid, but even then, and certainly now I wish I had gotten to know the goth kids better. Do you have any friends with similar styles, or tastes, or desires, or dreams as you? Try to find them - it is very hard - but it is one of the most important tasks in everyone's life. Being weird and by yourself is really hard, but being in a group, or even just having another friend like you, to support you, and have you support them really helps. You absolutely should not care what most people think about you, but it is really helpful to have at least one other person, and ideally a group or community, where you do care what others think about you and they care about what you think about them. Figuring out who you are is hard, often finding others like you can feel even harder, but as the hackneyed aphorism goes, you are the average of the three people you spend the most time with or something like that. Best of luck and hold your head high and have fun. Being able to laugh at myself I find very helpful. I have zero fashion sense and I tell myself that I don't care very much about clothes but I do actually care.ark Zuckerberg the super villain reached such greats partially because he decided to just wear the same thing every day as did Steve Jobs.

[Midori]

You are You, totally unique, there is not another person exactly like you. I'm weird too, but the difference is, I don't care what others think.

I celebrate Me, and folk seem to like that, as I'm not outrageous, I amuse people because even though I'm 76, I wear jeans and tee shirts with silly slogans on. I don't try to be invisible. I only have one skirt, and only wear it occasionally. It's nearly 20 years old and shows no signs of wearing out! (Unlike me). Today's Tee says 'I don't know how to act my age; I've never been this age before!'

I'm not a person who likes to get political, although I will take up cudgels for a just cause, like someone being badly treated by officialdom. but I don't glue myself to things or lay in the road to stop people going about their lawful business. I've been asked to advocate for a family having problems with Social Services, and I'm going to do my best to help sort it out!

I don't smoke (my parents did enough of that to last me out!) I rarely drink, and I cannot see any point at all in gambling! My main expediture is on books nowadays, although I would still drive if my sight was good enough. I used to love loading the VW camper with my kids and enough supplies to last a weekend or longer, and just head off someplace!

I seem to get on well with younger people, although I use a rollator nowadays. I may be creaking and get overtaken by snails; but I'm not going down without a fight!

Cheers, Midori

[CLB1125 in reply to Midori]

Today's Tee says 'I don't know how to act my age; I've never been this age before!

I love it!!

Im a farm girl, tee shirts and flannel and jeans. I have a set of nice clothes I call my funeral clothes, which my daughter cringes at, but that’s the only time I dress up. My best tee says “crazy chicken lady”.

I too have social anxiety and I panic when I have to enter a room full of people. I’m body conscience. I’m overweight and imagine people saying omg! Why did she let herself go?

[Midori in reply to CLB1125]

That's where 'I'm Me, I don't care what you think' comes in!

I guess I have a foot in both camps, I was born a 'towny', but I used to spend summers on a farm, mucking in.

I trained as a nurse, which isn't that much different from farming from my point of view, you are looking after the needs of creatures, just that they are human. They need feeding, watering, bedding and care for their ailments!

Cheers, Midori

[CLB1125 in reply to Midori]

You have a point there! Care and nurturing are the same no matter what you are caring for. Except animals complain less! 😂