scared to death

i dont know what to do anymore i have to leave apartment by april 21st cause of anger outburst incidents but have no one to help im all alone scared dont know what i want in life thought of moving out of state since i like east coast history but too darn expensive but get tired of scenery where im at got cc debt no savings cant hold down a job have anger issues no one to hug me or care for me

[Existing]

Ok, I know this doesn't sound right, but the first thing you need to do is regain a sense of composure, bring down the level of anxiety, and so can feel centered, rather than out of control.1. STOP everything in this moment. Deal with anxiety in the moment.

2. Go to Youtube, search for "guided meditation for anxiety emergency relief". Should easily pop-up something appropriate .

3. Sit down and simply listen, let it relax you as much as you are able. It helps, so trust me on sitting through the whole of it.

4. Listen to another if you can and end. Some are 10 minutes, others 20+, just find the quickest easiest one to start listening.

Only then, can you function without moving toward crisis or panic. You know this, you can do this.🙏❤

[Hidden in reply to Existing]

yea i drink tea which helps but even when calm i cant make a decision what to do being overwhelmed lost confused got til mid april unfortuantly landlords dont care

[Existing]

Next, get a pen and paper. Break down things into bits as they come to you.

Example: gotta find a place to live, unless there is a possibility of negotiating this with landlord/neighbors.

What kind of assistance is available for housing in my area? Who are the agencies that I could call?

Where can I find them? Google.

Make a a list of them, with contact info.

Just calling and talking to them will be helpful in releasing the terror and aloneness you feel inside.

Along the way, be as conscious as possible to BREATHE into any anxiety to keep you centered. You can influence the severity this way. Keep those YouTube videos accessible and use them as often as you can, like 2-3 times a day.

[Hidden in reply to Existing]

yea wish i had someone to be by my side im scared alone afraid

[Existing in reply to Hidden]

Thats my problem too, not having anyone for support. I feel like alone I just can't seem to do anything.

[Cyprusfan in reply to Hidden]

Hello. Sending you a much needed hug. Have you made an appointment to see a doctor. That would possibly be a huge step for you. Try reaching out to a mental health charity. They usually have an advocate that can be your guide on how to get better and give you a hug. Is it possible that then if you explain to your landlord the help you are reaching out for it may make him let you stay longer . Exercise is good as soon as you feel the anxiety/anger creeping in.

[Hidden]

yea found one apt nearby east coast too expensive

[Existing in reply to Hidden]

Do you mean you already found a new place? Thats fantastic!

[Hidden in reply to Existing]

yea but thought of boston area airbnb get tired of wi

[Hidden]

i wish i had someone by my side always like a parent

[Cyprusfan in reply to Hidden]

It's hard without parents....I know from personal experience but we have to believe we CAN do things x

[Dolphin14]

doglover5600

Is there any public assistance you can apply for?

You mention no parents, what about friends? Do you have anyone that can help you through this?

I hope you can find something in the next few weeks

🐬

[MaggieSylvie]

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Having no support myself, when things go wrong, I understand how you are feeling lost and alone. You have to address your anger issues, but for now your focus must be on finding somewhere to live. I can't help you there because I don't live where you you are, but where does anyone go when they are looking for somewhere to live? Who do you know who had to find somewhere quickly? What did they do? Ask your landlord (and tell them you are working on your "short fuse"); they might even have another property or know where there is one. If you can't do any of these, just go out into the street and ask anyone you can. Desperate times require desperate actions. I'm not sure you have time to be choosy just now, so just find somewhere, and rest in the knowledge that with warmer weather coming, even a tent wouldn't be the end of the world - just for a while. And when you have done all you can each day, take the advice of the other people writing here, and get a rein on those outbursts. Counting to ten might work for you. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

thanks yea stressed out cant handle people other vets pick on me etc idk whats wrong with me as a guy

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Hi doglover, I picked up your private message, just saying Hi! I don't know you other than from on HU but I would pose the question "Why should there be anything wrong with you?" Are you really that different from everyone else? Why would that be? That's three questions, but they might help you work out what's going on with you. I would suspect there's nothing wrong with you at all other than your obsession with it. Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i found a possible roommate but nervous if it will work out im not good at expressing how i feel to others

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Then tell them that. Know that most people don't really express how they feel, at least not beyond a few words.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

yea i did but if it doesnt work out ill have to find another place

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

So do your best to make it work out!

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

am i complaining too much

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

I think we are discussing the situation.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

and im 36yo already pretty scary

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

originally thought of boston area bbut id be in more debt than etc

[Roukaya]

Firstly being told to leave by 12th April is a huge shock and you have this deadline by which to find alternative accommodation.

Are you able to find or get in touch with Estate Agents for rental properties according to your budget.

To speak to your landlord and ask if you could possibly negotiate an extra term on your tenancy until you find suitable alternatives.

Explain you have anger is issues and even obtain a medical note to explain your condition and ask if possible for more time until you find accommodation which is acceptable.

Do you have a regular income by which you can pay rent .

Time is of the essence and you will need to find alternative accommodation as soon as you can or re negotiate with your landlord .

Your situation happened to me twice .

I was asked to leave by my Landlady in 2008 and my Tenancy ended in 2015 as the Estate Agent deliberately put the rent up .

It is essential you take charge over this situation but without Family it is incredibly hard .

Do you know any one who can support you whilst you are going for such a tough time

[Hidden in reply to Roukaya]

guess cause im a guy i need kick in butt seems all veterans are like that to me

[Hidden]

no

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

i have disability income to pay bills

[Hidden]

perhaps boston area in airbnb otherwise i guess ill stay in area

[Zhangliqun]

Who's doing the anger outbursts?

[Hidden]

i was

[Hidden]

guess i need kick in butt just seems fellow vets like myself are like that towards me

[Hidden]

What about help from the VA?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

yea but alot of vets are shitholes possibly dcause i look gay etc

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Sounds like you have an idea of why people treat you the way they do (or the way you think they do). So why don't you attack the situation head on: "Hey man, I know I look gay - I can't help the way I look. I was born this way. Get over it!"

[Hidden]

thanks yea i found one person i could possibly room with but he mentioned i didnt have sense of humor and hes like 15yrs older so it may not work out

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Why is sense of humour so important? Tell them you have a sense of tragedy instead. When people say to me that I have no wrinkles, I agree and say I have folds instead.