Anxiety is kicking my butt today! - Anxiety and Depre...

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Anxiety is kicking my butt today!

Senior4merEverything profile image

I didn't want to go, I didn't want to leave my house, but I had to do it, I did not have a choice!

Today I had to go to the funeral home to retrieve my wife's ashes.

I am devastated and I am crushed!

I am so lost, I am so afraid of the next day I have to face.

I should have gone with her, life right now, is so oppressive, and unwanted.

😞

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Senior4merEverything profile image
Senior4merEverything
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16 Replies
LoveforAll41 profile image
LoveforAll41

I am so sorry 4merBassist. Anxiety is something that can really ruin our lives, but I think that the easiest way for it to do that is to keep us from doing stuff. In this case, you left and went to the funeral home. I would say that you kicked anxiety's butt.

I think that what you are going through could perhaps be the hardest thing a human can go through. I hope that you are able to have self compassion and realize this might take a rough period of feeling REALLY crappy. I think that is understandable and even acceptable. You are going to therapy? I wish you peace in your journey☮️

Senior4merEverything profile image
Senior4merEverything in reply toLoveforAll41

Thank you, I'm restarting therapy soon, it was interrupted by Comic-19.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

I am so sorry for your loss.

Do you have family or friends with you? Anyone around you can talk with so you don't feel so alone?

🐬

Senior4merEverything profile image
Senior4merEverything in reply toDolphin14

My son is here until Wednesday, then I'll be here alone.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toSenior4merEverything

Im glad you and your son can be together during this difficult time. You need each other right now

Thank you, for sharing this!

Blossom2223 profile image
Blossom2223

Hey! First, I am so sorry for your loss! Anxiety and Depression are so so real. If possible, find someone that can stay with you so that you are not alone. Being alone can trigger those feelings. If your son is able- and you are open to it- allow him to help you get back into therapy preferably before he leaves.

Sending hugs!

Senior4merEverything profile image
Senior4merEverything in reply toBlossom2223

No one's available, and he goes home in two days. I'm going to do all I can to keep myself together as I learn to live this new life.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

My heart breaks for you and your son.

Senior4merEverything profile image
Senior4merEverything in reply toAgora1

Thank you, he's trying to hold me together, he goes back home in two days, it'll be me, trying to figure it our without falling totally apart.

in reply toSenior4merEverything

Hi 4merBassistMedic, my condolences on losing your wife. I was in funeral for nearly 15 years and it was never easy letting anyone go. I was in every phase of it, I worked with some amazing people. I hope someone from the funeral home, hospital or hospice reached out to you especially since you are alone.There are some community resources that you might check in to. Your neighbor or community church, a pastor, minister or Rabbi. Elders and deacons are trained for bereavement as well. some churches have a bereavement committee that can check-in on you a few times a week, and might bring you some nourishing food. You can also check with your local, VFW, American Legion for any thing they might have to offer.

Don't be alone during this time. Call the funeral home you used and ask for ministers that they use for services and graveside burials.

Also don't forget your town's cemetery, the secretary or manager might know some resources for you. Take care, I'm praying for you. Navar

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

I am so sorry, 4merBassistMedic, So very sorry. Please know that it can't get any worse but when you're ready, you must seek out friends and/or family for comfort and support. Do not be alone too much, and sleep whenever you feel like it.

Teaching profile image
Teaching

Sorry for your loss. Anxiety combined with grief is a lot to deal with. I was there. It takes time but you'll definitely get better. Take it one step at a time. You are in my thoughts.

Cavalierrubie profile image
Cavalierrubie

This is a very dark place for you right now and my heart goes out to you. You have your Son who will be a blessing to you and will be at your side and grieving with you. He will not leave you desolate and abandon you. The next few weeks will be very hard for you but you can do this. Your Son needs you and perhaps others do too who you probably have not yet met. There is help out there. Do you have a church locally as there are some very kind Christians who have probably gone through the same suffering. Reach out to others as many of us know what you are going through and it’s not easy to cope alone. When l lost my husband, l got a rescue dog. He got me up in the mornings and gave me a reason to carry on. God gives to us when most is taken away. Keep strong, one day at a time. It will get better, your life will be filled again and the emptiness will gradually disappear. Take care of yourself and make sure to eat well.

BedBug profile image
BedBug

So sorry about your loss. I know its hard, I have been there. Don't isolate yourself. Be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. Yes,it hurts like hell but it will get better slowly. I still have difficult times some days. What helps me is I know my loved one is in heaven looking down and is in peace. I know that I will be with him again when God chooses. I thank God for all the blessings he has given me each day.

Pel3749 profile image
Pel3749

So sorry to hear about your loss, may she rest in peace. Take as much time as you want to try to recover from your loss. Stay in touch with your friends and family. Therapy is a must. Find a good therapist and give your self time. God bless you.

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