Married life is realy very tough

[Mohammad-341]

sometims i feel my wife is very much in love with me and does a lot for me but her upbringhing make her believe things in while and black that obstruct the communication between us. i feel only relationship that i have is having dinner together and having sex. bcos when i talk generally she is not that much open minded and offer very conservative view that result in conflict .

i cant walk away from marraige we hava a kid of 8 years and we have tried counselling but it does not help.

it keeps me stresed and frustrated other than childhood trauma that are already enough to burden me

[Mohammad-341]

we are living as a friend and not fighting often but its not very much friendly and understanding. we both are commited to well being of our child

[Mohammad-341]

you are right , we are trying our best to do it

[Hachipoppy55]

It is very difficult to have a relationship with someone with opposing views. You cannot change them, you can only try to be the best you. If there is a lot of arguments that is very bad for the child. My (older) daughter was actually very happy when I got divorced.

[Mohammad-341 in reply to Hachipoppy55]

You are right thanks god i can live without it

[ArcobalenoChibi]

I am by far not a professional.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I want to be culturally sensitive. Some of my decisions with my husband may not apply to you or your situation. All I can offer is empathy, compassion and some understanding to the best of my ability. I am not in your shoes. I can empathize thought. I have a lot of grief. Grieving my marriage and that my in-laws will no longer see me again. It’s best for all that we don’t see each other. My own family most of them don’t tolerate me. I have very different views and opinions that are too liberal for them. Only my mom and one cousin plus my husband understand me better. I no longer to go family gatherings because I don’t want to upset anyone by just being me.

Yes, marriage is difficult. My husband refuses counseling for himself and our marriage. That was my way of making peace with us and wanting the marriage to work. When we would try to work it out ourselves it would end up horribly. He refuses medication for his depression while I’m expected to be on mine and go to therapy. His family doesn’t like me now and my mother and father in law think the worst of me. He doesn’t talk. Didn’t protect me on front of them. I don’t blame my husband for his anger but I don’t want to live my life being miserable and misunderstood the rest of my life. They are good people. My husband is a good man. I know deep down that I am too. My family on my side are good people too. I try to stay positive and hopeful.

While I go to counseling and have been trying to maintain the marriage in the past I no longer have the energy to maintain it. We both have no energy left. We do at the end of the day care for eachother.

I can have compassion for you when it feels like you are not being seen or heard completely and accurately. Especially when it comes to having different views. In my own experience I have found that my husband and I easily fall into roles of strictly husband and wife. He works and I cook and clean. I used to work but can’t right now. I don’t like relying on him completely.

My husband and I don’t have children. We chose not to. That’s fortunate for us in hind sight. I do grieve the inability to have children now that I am older.

Long story short we have decided to separate but live under one roof. We have three cats that are like our children. I walked away from a career that was not good for my health. Since 2007 I have had a very good career. My husband and I have always cheered eachother on and are friends but the marriage has run its course unfortunately/fortunately for us. You are not alone. Just know that. You are never alone in this. May feel like you are but you are not. May God be with you during this time in your life. We as a group are here for you. Hope this helps.

[ArcobalenoChibi]

I remind myself that I truly am solely responsible (response-able) for me.

I am responsible (response-able) to others.

Have to take care of yourself before helping others.

Peace be with you.

[ArcobalenoChibi]

Maybe try individual counseling for yourself. Maybe that could help you cope more.