I’m back

[TravisF]

So last August or September I came to this site after extreme panic and anxiety attacks along with depression. I asked questions and people gave me great advice. So, I’m here to ask for more help.

I’ve been working my same job for almost 6 years and other than training, I’ve remained on night shift which I didn’t mind cause I like to play video games. Well, I just recently got triggered by an event at work (I work in a prison), and now I can’t find enjoyment in anything “fun”.

I went to the doctor and found out my testosterone is horribly low and I’m only 26 years old. My health is concerning me greatly because I’m young and experiencing things I shouldn’t be. I sleep 10-12 (sometimes more) most days.

Everyone tells me to go to dayshift or find a new job but I’m lucky to have a job with decent pay and good insurance. I can’t leave and dayshift at the prison is completely not doable with my mental health. It’s hard to explain but dayshift is an impossible task where most quit due to stress.

I’m so stressed because I feel like there’s no good option. I worry so much about my health, retirement (if I can even make it that long), family, lack of friends I used to have, expenses that keep popping up at my house…

I know I worry too much and to some people these are easy fixes, but I’m terrified and I feel I’m the only person on this planet. I’ve already had the anxiety attacks come back and I can’t eat. I literally worry 24/7 and can’t control my thoughts. I can’t force myself to wake up so I sleep all day. I’m scared to take testosterone treatment at my age cause I’ve seen that it can cause long term issues… Does anyone have advice or words of wisdom?

[BrmhmR]

Hi Travis,

Testosterone was a worry for me when I was struggling with intrusive thoughts, anxiety and being emotionally dull during the first two years of university. The signs were quite clear to me but I was not in the right mental state to do anything about it.

It was only until, my self improvement phase began after reaching the worst point last May when I began researching and putting advice into practice. Stress and anxiety can reduce testosterone because of how cortisol impacts hormones. Not having enough sleep or sleeping too much and not being active can reduce testosterone too. Your diet has a big impact on overall health.

In terms of day-shift and night-shift, Andrew Huberman a neuroscientist explains how getting daylight in your eyes and waking up to light is vital for dopamine and overall health. A lot of aspects in health relates back to how our ancestors lived because our bodies are still very similar in a way. Seeing bright lights at a time that you should be sleeping actually damages health. This is not me making you worry as you mention you cannot take the day-shift, I am just trying to provide points to help you see what factors might be contributing to your state.

Exercise is crucial because not only does it promote testosterone production but it also reduces stress and may help with anxiety which can also help improve testosterone levels as mentioned earlier. But then you may wonder how can you manage anxiety when you aren't exercising. Meditation is a significant aid. Its the art of implementing mindfulness and being present. To sit with thoughts and observe but not engage or react to them, no matter what the content of the thought is. It helps you recognise that the brain is suggesting ideas and whatever you place attention or effort on, simply feeds it. Forcing thoughts away is no good idea either. While you meditate just listen to what it says and let it pass as you return to a present focus. For me, it is deep breathing and the action of slow controlled exhaling reduces the pressure on your heart and lowers heartbeat. If you try it now actually - breathe in and you notice your heartbeat increase. Breathe out and it reduces. You can start with 5 minutes a day but over time, the more you practice the more your mind is trained to do it throughout the day. It helps to prevent you from overreacting to situations and control emotions when there are challenges.

Prison work sounds stressful. And I guess it does not help with the pressure of expenses either. I am not in your situation yet as I am still in university but my perspective could not handle multiple pressures placed on me. I saw it as an impossible task and crumbled under the weight. That was until I accepted the fact that there will always be difficulties in life and I must tackle them one by one. It was also hard to accept that there was no overnight fix. I wanted to just feel better and that made me demotivated when I didn't get a result straight away. But after coming to accept that I started to focus more on how I would feel in the future rather than what I feel now. I did everything to benefit my future position and it got me out of that dull state after a few months. Relieving the pressures of tomorrow through the actions of today.

From what I've read I believe you can get healthy testosterone levels back at your age with changes to lifestyle and perspective. You are still young and of course, as we get into the 30s and beyond it is normal for them to drop. But they do say some 50+ men have higher testosterone levels than average teenagers these days which is concerning but it's down to lifestyle choices since they were younger and avoiding the overstimulation we receive today that fries our dopamine receptors. So if I were you I would try to reach that level naturally, as best as you can.

[TravisF in reply to BrmhmR]

Thank you for your words. It actually makes since. I know it will be hard but I will try meditation. I think I’ve tried it before but it’s not a common practice for me.

[Agora1 in reply to TravisF]

Hi TravisF when we can't change our situation, I have found Meditation to help

immensely. Using it before bed, mid day (or in your case mid night) and first thing

upon awakening. The thing about meditation is that it works even while you are

sleeping. The subconscious mind is always alert and absorbing everything we see

and do. If it's playing back the negativities in our lives, that makes space for anxiety

and panic to move in.

When using meditation daily, the mind tends to get stronger with positive re-enforcement

and eventually, will kick in when you most need it.

Meditation practice is like an athlete training for a big event. The more he trains the

better he is in responding when that event arises.

It takes time, patience and consistency, but you can and will get there. I'm glad to see

you back and reaching for support. My best to you xx