was dumped yesterday

[friendly34]

feeling pretty low after i was dumped yesterday.

it was my birthday last week and this guy kept cancelling and postponing due to money problems.

i wish i had ended things with him before new year as it would have been a cleaner break.

I feel so sad. he messaged me every day on whatsapp- sometimes several times a day.

i didn’t even want him to message me this much. i feel numb at the moment but know soon the emotional pain will hit me.

4 months of just high intensity messaging.

it was too much.

i am disabled and it is hard to meet guys. i am attractive but guys get out off by my health issues.

i keep worrying what am i going to do when my dog, mum and sister aren’t here. i worry how low i am going to get.

[Hidden]

Hey,

Firstly, happy birthday for last week.

Having someone breakup with you is tough. The sudden shift from talking to a person and being close, to then becoming strangers again is hard to grasp for a while. Your mind prefers routine and a sudden break in that flow, puts us down.

There will come a time when a man will love you for who you are and that your disability will be seen as a unique aspect instead of a hindrance. Because everyone is different and a disability doesn't define who you are. Everyone has their obstacles but I'm sure you have come a long way compared to others. A true man who wishes to have you by their side will love you for who you are and work with you to pass by challenges in order to make the relationship stronger.

In my experience of a breakup the best thing you can do is let go what has come to an end by removing any photos or items that remind you of it. But also distract yourself at first with activities you enjoy to remind you that you can have a good time independently or with other people. It will no longer be a distraction over time but rather a return to interest as the memory of the relationship fades. You can look forward to who you want to become as you build yourself and make new memories or stories so that when you meet another man you can share a lot more.

It's normal to worry. I always had the thought of what if I don't find anybody again. You were focused so much on one person and when they go you feel empty like there is no one else out there. However, there are so many people. You've got this chance now to fuel your journey to reach higher levels.

For me it was all about how can I be happy with myself again. I went to the gym to increase self esteem and confidence. I read into philosophy and perspective to have a mind that is optimistic even in times of struggle - acceptance plays a big role. I applied for opportunities that I wouldn't have done previously like volunteering. With those steps you become a different person to who you were previously but this new version is someone who has left behind what had restricted them.

You've got this. Trust yourself and let thoughts of doubt pass over your mind. The future may be better than you think but it is always uncertain. Accepting and living with uncertainty is one important step in committing to the path you want to take and whatever happens you can find out when the time comes.

[friendly34 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your beautifully empathetic response. v kind of you Xx

[brendonkellyrox]

hey happy birthday people suck but we're right here with you and for you

[friendly34 in reply to brendonkellyrox]

thank you Xx

[CLB1125]

happy belated birthday. Try not to think about the what ifs with your dog and family. Take this time to find something that makes you happy.

[friendly34 in reply to CLB1125]

thank you very much x