agoraphobia

[Minimuffins]

haven’t left my house in 6 years is there anyone with agoraphobia that understands?

[Agora1]

Hi Minimuffins, I understand as well as care about the 4 walls you have built

around you. I lost 5 years of my life homebound. Never leaving the house,

windows covered with blankets and never opening the door to even get the

mail. Fear of the unknown lied to me and I believed those lies.

I Welcome you to this wonderful community of selfless friends who never

judge, who show empathy as well as support others because we understand.

You are not alone new friend. Many of us have gone from overwhelming Anxiety

to Agoraphobia.

Come be with us and learn from our own experiences in how we may help you. xx

[Minimuffins in reply to Agora1]

hi! How did you get out from the house? My 17 year old son got in a car accident and was in critical condition and I live every day with the hate for myself for not being there for him

[Agora1 in reply to Minimuffins]

I'm sorry to hear of your son's accident. I hope he has healed from his critical

condition. You too must learn to heal from your mind right now. Don't hate

yourself for not being there for him. It's not you as a mother making that choice

but the mind setting us up for failure when we try to break down those walls. xx

[Minimuffins in reply to Agora1]

How did you get out of your walls after 5 years??? I’m just curious

[Agora1 in reply to Minimuffins]

As you can imagine Minimuffins, it is not an overnight change. I may not be a

doctor or therapist but I did put in a lot of time during those 5 years in researching

and digging for the root of the cause. My medication at the time was Xanax and

plenty of therapy. It was like one day, after many years of anxiety and panic

attacks, I began to fear everything. Afraid to live, afraid to die and so I thought

hiding in my home would be my sanctuary. Of course it wasn't. After a year,

I realized that I had enabled myself into this prison both emotionally as well

as physically.

I had the resources and knowledge to have everyone come to me. From a

medical doctor, nurses, lab techs, social workers/psychologists etc. I even had

the 2 elderly sisters who lived next door check on me once a day to make sure

I was okay.

I was young and in the prime of my life, why was this happening to my mind??

The "key" to the answer was embedded deep inside of me. I was going to figure

this out myself since I had lost all friends and even family members who didn't

understand my excuses and my pulling away from up coming events in my life.

I missed weddings, baby showers, funerals, people in the hospital etc. I so

understand your heartbreak when your son was critically hurt. But we just can't

exist that prison when our mind is hanging onto the key.

**will continue with another response xx

[Agora1 in reply to Minimuffins]

I'm back Minimuffins. As you can see I'm long winded but very patient. I was told

by my therapist that SUPPORT was very important during the Agoraphobia stage.

Support?? I had no one who believed what it was like. But I had ME and I was

determined to win and to gain control again and pass on my success. Using

affirmations daily made me convince myself that I can and I will do this, Anything

worth while in Life takes work and I was more than ready after 5 years.

I found a gold mine of help in YouTube. Spent hours on researching as well as

finding methods and other tools I could use to empower myself. Meditation and

Breathing turned out to be the key I was looking for. But in order to unlock the

door of my mind, I needed to be assured of what was beyond that door. What was

I missing that might keep that door locked forever and that proved to be TRUST.

Trust in myself that I could and I would do this.

I never journaled but during this time I wrote many articles that came within

moments of my sitting down in front of the computer.

I figured out that it was the loss of control over my life and it's situations that

made me a prisoner of my mind. Most anxious people become that because

life doesn't go the way they planned. Because rather than accept what they

can't change in their lives, they continue to fight back and stay in that

"fight or flight" stance. This is where both mental and physical challenges

erupt. The Mind/Body Connection is intertwined. So what one thinks is what

one gets. (and with it comes physical sensations that are unreal)

I'll try to wind this up with one more response. xx

[Agora1 in reply to Minimuffins]

3rd and last response to Agoraphobia Minimuffins. From here on end, the

forum is open for you to learn from others including myself. Take what may

work for you. We don't know unless we try.

From my own experience, I found that I needed more than just therapy and

medication. The were just band-aid effects in allowing me to push forward.

During my multiple daily searches on YouTube I found that Meditation was

to my liking. Learning to breathe properly stopped hyperventilation when scared.

Stopped me holding my breath when scared. AND...allowed me to once again

get out of the house, drive and go into stores. The "key" was always in my

pocket but I never looked. I never thought something as simple as "breathing"

would take me back into control. I have continued this training for many years

now. Every day, 3 times a day, I meditate upon awakening, 3-5 min in the mid

afternoon and once again before bed. I have literally changed my way of thinking.

I don't allow negativity to take over my mind. If Plan A doesn't work then I go

to Plan B. I always have an out.

If stress builds up in my life, I step away mentally and meditate and breathe.

This allows me to accept anything and everything I have no control over. When

I do feel in control, I make the changes required w/o a hesitation or doubt.

I believe in myself once more and LIfe is Amazing. I learn everyday from these

beautiful kind people in this community. My mind is always open to the suggestions

and advice in other's journeys.

Anxiety is a cruel entity but it can be beat. Don't be afraid. We are here for you.

This is not the End but just the Beginning for you and others. Breathe xx

[Downinil in reply to Agora1]

Agora, we are blessed to have you on here. You are wise and articulate. Thank you for all of your support.

[CLB1125]

I don’t have agoraphobia yet. I fear I am slowly heading into it. There are many people here that can possibly help you. But IM glad you are. I will support you however I can.

[Minimuffins in reply to CLB1125]

Why do you think you’re headed down that path? I hope it doesn’t reach ahold of you like it did me. I know so much easier then done

[CLB1125 in reply to Minimuffins]

More and more I find ways to get out of going to town or to visit someone. Something as simple as going to my daughter's for a cookout makes me nervous. It shouldn't it's just my husband and I and daughter and her husband. But I drag my feet getting ready and as soon as we get there I'm waiting to go home. Our town is 10 minutes away. My husband asks me to go with him and I find excuses why I can't go. I find myself getting disoriented in stores now. I've been making it a point to go to town with my husband. I always offer to sit in the car with the dog.

[Downinil]

Hi Minimuffins! I’m struggling just to get out of bed and in the shower as well as out in public. I’m in a similar situation. One step at a time I’m starting to get out with the supply of one of my brothers.

[Minimuffins]

that is awesome to hear!! Every step is a victory. I’m just lacking my first step. Thank goodness for your brothers!! I’ve had many come and go and leave me to my own since they couldn’t understand the why. If I did maybe I’d be better, not sure.

[gajh]

Hello. You already talking to the best by talking to Agora1! You are in great hands. I just wanted to welcome you myself too. I have had a very hard time leaving the house for 4 1/2 years. It got the worst last December. I have been making slow progress the last few months. I am in therapy and on medications. I also had a treatment called LENS Low Electrical Neurofeedback System. I had 12 treatments. It was not a quick fix by any means. It just helped to make the anxiety and depression a little more manageable. I still had to take baby steps to getting out. Being on this support group and talking to others who understand helped dramatically. I started going outside while I was on the phone with my therapist. Then by myself. I worked up to going to the mailbox everyday by myself for 2 weeks straight. Then I sat in my car while on the phone with my therapist. Then I drove around my parking lot. Then I drove to the pharmacy with my therapist on speaker phone, but I went in the pharmacy, grabbed my prescriptions as soon as possible, and drove home on my own. Then I drove completely by myself to the pharmacy 2 more times. Last week I drove to a new pharmacy the next town over. On my way there, I saw The Dollar Tree. I thought of Agora1 and a story she shared with me about her success going to The Dollar Tree. I drove to the pharmacy and worked up my courage to go to The Dollar Tree on my way home. I didn't know how long I would stay there, but I wanted to give it a try. Well they had things for Valentine's Day that I started looking at. The next thing I knew was looking at everything through the whole store. I never looked at the clock so I don't know how long I was in there, but I do know it was a long time. The amazing thing is that while I was shopping not once did I think I have to get out of here, I have to get home. It was amazing. I have not been out again yet. It didn't make the fear go away. I will still be staying in most of the time, but I will continue to take baby steps. I know you can do it to. We are here to share each step, each small and large victory. We are all in it together. Please reach out to me if you want to chat. I will happily be here for you. Definitely take Agora1's great advice. You can do it! We are here for you.

[Agora1 in reply to gajh]

What a great positive response gajh

Too bad we're not all in the same city, we could

meet at the Dollar Tree Store lol xx

I'm definitely not any different that everyone who has gone through

Agoraphobia. I was just fortunate enough to break those chains and

burst forward into society once again. You are doing great..A little at a

time will get you where you want to be. When the time is right, all will

fall into place. xx

[gajh in reply to Agora1]

It would be so amazing if we could all go together. That would be so fun. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. It means the world to me.

[Agora1 in reply to gajh]

Keep that positivity within you gajh. It will go a long way. xx

[Adlon57]

Yes I have a sister who is just like you, she has PTSD was assaulted when younger, sits in the house all day, I and one of other sister's send texts, emails, etc, asking how she is, and latest news! Such a pity just celebrated 🙄her 59th birthday, left a card and a present for her to collect, she retired early and has enough money until her full retirement, she sits in the house doing nothing, last time I saw her, she is gaining weight, she lived over in London, where she was assaulted, came home, she was a delivery driver, luved it, I fear something similar happened here, back into her cocoon! She is so intelligent a very high IQ, was my favourite sister, but....