Agoraphobia

[Sierramist]

Does anyone else here suffer from agoraphobia so bad that you can’t leave your house? I haven’t left since February and I feel like I’m the only one that suffered this bad

[Hidden]

Yes I do. I have had it before many years ago when i was younger and did not leave my apartment for 8 months, not even to check the mail. The mail box was outside the door! I would actually take out the screen and reach out to grab the mail in the box attached to the side of my apartment. I was in my 20s. Over the years It would return but only for weeks at a time not months! Now the last two years I have had two bouts, last year it lasted for 3 months this year it has been almost since covid began. Though I have had to go to ER a couple times so that broke it for a moment then back home feeling like the world is just too unsafe for me emotionally and mentally. Getting covid on top of my chronic health issues and the ongoing damage it has done to my lungs and heart I am sure does not help (part of that damage to my heart was extended radiation on my left side due to breast cancer.)

I am so so sorry you are facing this too

[Sierramist in reply to Hidden]

I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that it’s so hard and I just want to live a normal life

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have agoraphobia too. I don't look down on myself because I do not understand why I have this, I won't even get the mail or put out the trash or shower.

Is amazing how even experts say if you do this and do that you will be cured.

If it were that easy don't they realize we would have already done that ourselves, a million times over ??

Looks like they get paid to tell you what works for them, but not what works for you.

Sorry to any mental health professionals that do not like hearing the truth for some of us. Been receiving this kind of help 30+years now.

It still doesn't work, or I would gladly say so.

Just a little disgusted with what they say works, that doesn't work.

I just don't give up

I never will.

That's how I win, even when advice doesn't help.

Chris

[moggie8 in reply to Hidden]

That's why we get stuck I think because we are trying to fix it make it go instead of just giving up but it's hard to mastermind how to give up I will try and then when symptoms don't go I say this isn't working full accepting your symptoms means letting them be there and not trying to make them go I get this but it's hard wonderbro U tube is good but we are not suppose to care if there there or not hope this helps I keep checking how I feel which isn't acceptance

[Hidden in reply to moggie8]

moggie8

I think I am quite Honored that I received your first message Ever!!

Chris

😮

[moggie8 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks just learning like the rest of us

[moggie8 in reply to Hidden]

Just remember your brain is watching your reaction so if U freak out at a place Irvin the shower your brain remembers this and gives U more anxiety cause your telling it your in danger brain can't tell difference between real or imagined threat so if your scared how U are going to feel your telling your brain your in danger because your scared. I'm trying to practise this acceptance as I'm a nxious 24)7 and I get really anxious showering but try not to react hope this helps look at wonderbro he explains it well

[Hidden in reply to moggie8]

I think I git it. If you fear something your brain treats it as Very Real Danger, making you even More Anxious because it is Real not just a fear. So when you fear something it only gets worse each time even if you don't really have to fear that. OMG is a little complicated but do I got that right? And when did you develop a fear of showering and what does a shower represent to you or force you to think about that your brain feels is Very Real and Dangerous??

As you can see I try pretty hard to understand everything. I am making some progress as I recently purchased $1,400.00 of Food when I usually have nearly nothing at all. Even cops I know are upset about it and took a picture of my always empty refrigerator. Pretty humiliating isn't it -

Chris

🍔🍕😢

[moggie8 in reply to Hidden]

Don't ever feel humiliated but good your making progress I try to learn how it works as well but we know there's no danger in the shower but we are scared how we will feel in the shower which is danger again are U anxious all the time I met a nice young man in Pennsylvania that we email back and forth been friends for four yrs I live in Australia and I know what it's like to suffer day in day out but am trying to be accepting

[moggie8 in reply to moggie8]

Sorry I didn't answer got a knee replacement four yrs ago and had to shower and just started with panic then started panicking all the time then developed fear of how I was feeling scared the feelings would hurt me hope this helps you can keep in touch if you like but don't know how

[Hidden in reply to moggie8]

Okay I actually barely could stand for years due to extreme shaking and weakness due to years of starvation.

I was terrified of falling because I would be seriously injured and will never heal due to being old with no money or insurance. Stairs were even far harder and the most miserable experience and so extremely difficult to do. I've been through so much I wonder how much of it people can even stand hearing. It sounds to me a knee replacement surgery is a very similar situation just for a different reason. I'm not scared anymore because I stopped shaking so badly.

Chris

😨

[moggie8 in reply to Hidden]

That's good so U slowly getting past it

[Elephantlover99 in reply to Hidden]

Hey Chris! I feel you on the shower thing and going out to get your mail. I dread having to take a shower even though I need to do this kinda stuff. I had to take the shower curtain off and just leave the shower liner on but even then I need it half way open in order to shower.

[bluestars725]

I do. I developed agoraphobia (in addition to my depression and generalized anxiety disorder) last year. I haven't left the house in almost a year. Plus, my agoraphobia rolled right into the pandemic, so that doesn't help.

[Sierramist in reply to bluestars725]

I’m sorry this is definitely hard

[Jeff1943]

Sierramist, agoraphobia is a common symptom of anxiety disorder. It helps to understand why it happens.

For some time you must have been experiencing high anxiety for some reason. Your mind senses this and thinks you are in physical danger. Your mind wants to distance you from physical danger so sends you a signal to retire into the safety zone of your home. Your mind has got it wrong and provided a false remedy.

Agoraphobia is not an acceptable way of life. Why should you be subjected to a form of imprisonment? You have committed no crime: the great outdoors belongs to you.

Ask yourself this: what do you fear most. Some danger you will encounter if you leave home? Or the fear of the fear you will feel when you leave home?

Clearly it is the second - fear of fear- as you know well enough that you will encounter no danger when you go outside.

I suggest a way forward. A way that will allow you to reclaim the outside world which belongs to you.

Simply agree to accept the feeling of fear (for the time being) when you leave your home. Agree to co-exist with it for the moment. Brace yourself for that moment then let every muscle in your body go limp. Specially your jaw muscle and feel your brain relaxing too. It will take only a few minutes but you will feel the lack of tension soon enough.

Then leave your home, but let the bad feelings come, they will not always be there, but accept them completely for now. But you must accept them truly, not a case of 'just putting up with'.

On leaving your home imagine being propelled along effortlessly by some invisible force. What is called 'floating'. So float off up the road with some goal in mind: somewhere that sells your favourite brand of chocolate (or chocolate ice cream) which after floating home you will be free to over indulge in to celebrate your victory.

To use the old cliché: Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured. And you will do it by using Acceptance and Floating.

Sierramist, do these things and the days of your agoraphobia are numbered, new happiness awaits that cannot be gained by endless days confined in your home. You have the courage to do this, this I know, because all people have the courage to do it - using reserves of hidden strength we never knew we had but are present within everybody waiting to help.

You know what you have to do, Accept and Float. But don't think about it too much or too long. Just do it. You could do it now.

I wish you God's speed in your journey to regain the great outdoors and enter your own.

[Live4it20 in reply to Jeff1943]

Good advice!

[Whiskers16 in reply to Jeff1943]

I need to do this too.. do leave the house but rarely on my own and feel anxious all the time I’m out

[maddypaddy69 in reply to Jeff1943]

Excellent advice! We only get this one life! Baby steps, but do it, live!

[Dallas_Cowboys]

I have had agoraphobia for several years and nothing has gotten me out of the house. I feel for you and hope that you will find a way to move through it. Maybe I will get to that point too.

[Sierramist in reply to Dallas_Cowboys]

I’m sorry it really is hard

[AnewHope87]

My problem is that I would love to leave thr house but I am terrified of driving in a car and on highways to go anywhere. I have panic attacks driving more than a couple of miles from my house. Been going through this for 8 years. Does anyone else have panic attacks while driving on long roads and highways?

[CourtneeS in reply to AnewHope87]

This is literally

My life story. It’s awful. I want nothing more then to be able to do the things that I used to do with no problem..

[Queeniegirl27 in reply to AnewHope87]

How are you feeling now? Have you found it to improve? Have you tried positive affirmations and visualisation? Practising this a couple of times a day might help so that when you are on the high way you feel more at ease.

A book that really helped me is called ‘Conquering Everyday Anxiety’ by the Speakmans. They also have some really good films on conquering fears and phobias on their YouTube channel. So worth watching. They are awesome at helping people to overcome their anxieties.

Hope this helps and chin up. 😇🙏🏽

[maddypaddy69 in reply to AnewHope87]

So sorry, please find a support person, go out when just a little traffic, go one exit, baby steps. Don't give up!

[Spooky99]

Hi!!! Omg I had it sooooo bad in the late 80’s early 90’s I was in my early 20’s. Now I’m 52. Listen! I wasted soooo much time sitting in and avoiding life! I thought I was insane because this wasn’t really talked about!!! I drank a lot of vodka to walk my kids to school.. to drive to a play. Etc. I was a mess!!!!!!! There was a time I couldn’t get the mail. Just reading your post I feel so bad!!! Are you on medication??? I was on Prozac , and one day I woke up and felt different!!! It worked!!!!! Trust me I still get anxiety! But I get out the door! I carry clonopin with me. I’m in recovery for many years!!! Please IM me if you’d like. Don’t be hard on yourself. The mind is really something!!!!!! It sucks to be afraid. Nobody understands! ❤️

[car103]

Thanks for sharing. I had a manic episode in July and one result is that I don't want to leave my home (and it isn't like there is anywhere to go and because of COVID, no one is going to people's homes.) At home I just find myself sleeping a lot. I did an intake with a therapist which wasn't easy to find someone. I am hoping she has some good ideas. But I truly want to hide from the world.

[Silverlining101]

Yes but you have to just get out. I promise you feel so much better once you do. It took a couple weeks to calm my anxiety but im bsck working n im starting to feel pretty good. Gota get your blood circulating again.

[Potxola]

Dear friend. You are not the only one that feels that way. Covid unfortunately has brought up many other underlying issues such as trauma, especially when you cannot control a situation. This is the first time I find my world upside down and I don't even feel safe in my house or in the garden with people working in some site without any consideration for residents. I also want to live a normal life, but it is far from normal and feel more lonely than ever. I can see that I am not the only one feeling like this. I would try to attempt leaving my house with others that feel the same way because I know that they will take all the safety measures to protect themselves and others, but I am afraid I don't know any. These are very hard times, but we have to be grateful for our blessings because there are always people in worst circumstances than ourselves. When people support each other it seems that the load is lighter to bear. I had a mantra for many months saying "people don't care" but when you care for others in a worst situation than yourself somehow you are not so preoccupied and feel better. I just wish there was a way in which people, like ourselves could support one another during this difficult time. I don't have any advise for you since I don't have any that I can say it works apart from the fact that I feel that when people are together they don't feel so lonely and the situation seems to be better. I would like to transmit to all of you all my very best wishes. God bless you and keep you safe

[Elephantlover99]

I have been suffering from agoraphobia for some time now. I have really high anxiety and depression. I never leave my house unless I absolutely have to and that’s very rare. I also haven’t been in a store for a year and a 1/2 due to my anxiety. I know this probably isn’t making you feel any better but your not alone in this. I wish I had some advice for you but like you I’m in need of it too. I hope we can connect on this.

[bluestars725]

I developed agoraphobia before the pandemic started. The only time I've been out of my house in the last two years was to get both my vaccinations.