Agoraphobia: I'm agoraphobic on the... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Agoraphobia

PhoebeAgora profile image
19 Replies

I'm agoraphobic on the severe side, but have only experienced for the last two years. Part of my anxiety disorder is genetically induced (maternal grandmother) and the other part stems from several difficult events that all happened around the same time: the loss of many precious keepsakes in a major move, the deaths of two precious animal companions, within months of each other, and the sudden death of a friend.

Does anyone else suffer from this debilitating disorder? If so, have you found a way to at least keep your head above water? I'm alone all the time and things feel a little surreal lately.

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PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora
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19 Replies
Ellamaye profile image
Ellamaye

I don't suffer with actual diagnosed agoraphobia, leaving the house comes and goes for me . 1 day I can face the big bad world and the next my home is the only place I feel safe .

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply toEllamaye

Thanks for responding Ellamaye. It's good to know someone else gets that feeling . . that life on the other side of the door seems threatening sometimes and is too much to bear.

gajh profile image
gajh

Hello and Welcome. Yes I have agoraphobia. I have found the only way out for me has been baby steps. Not overwhelming myself. I have got to the point where I do go out once a week with my boyfriend and once a month I drive myself to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Other than that I am inside. It helps me so much talking here with someone else who is agoraphobic. That there is someone who actually understands. I am glad you have joined us.

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply togajh

That's the thing, isn't it . . "someone who actually understands." No one in my family understands and they've pretty much given up on me. They don't visit or call anymore. It's good you have a boyfriend, someone you're close to, but still the agoraphobia must be hard to bear sometimes. You're right about baby steps; not good to "think big," then beat yourself up when you can't accomplish. Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your reaching out.🤗

gajh profile image
gajh in reply toPhoebeAgora

So where are you at with it? Are you leaving the house at all? How much? Do you feel like sharing more? I would be happy to talk about it with you.

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply togajh

Thanks for your reply. Where I'm at is right here in my apt., alone for two years, I haven't left in all that time. I've never had any visitors either. I have my groceries delivered, all needs are met really, but I haven't been able to keep medical or dental appts. all this time and that's becoming a real problem. I don't know how I'll handle. It's really been a baffling experience for me, because I've always been very social. I definitely had some triggering events and then too inherited from my grandmother. Did you have a triggering event? Curious.

gajh profile image
gajh in reply toPhoebeAgora

I have PTSD and have suffered from depression and anxiety for over 30 years. Covid lockdown is what triggered my agoraphobia. Do you have a therapist? I worked on getting out with my therapist. I went out in the yard when I was on the phone with him then went to get mail with him on the phone. Just taking baby steps before I went out alone. I talked to my therapist today and we talked about going out to get the mail. I did do it alone daily for two weeks a while back. It did become a little easier over time, but not enough that I wanted to keep doing it. Are you able to go outside at all or are you just inside the house? It must be so very, very hard being alone. Do you feel any better at all from being here with us?

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply togajh

Guess what? I talked with my therapist this afternoon and told her about how you worked with your therapist to get outside. We're going to give it a try next week; not sure I can do it though. Great idea. I get that you couldn't consistently go outside for your mail. I do that a lot - make a little headway, two steps forward, then two steps back, and so it goes. To answer your question, no I can't go outside and I have a ghostly appearance to show for it. Thoughtful question too when you asked if I felt better having found the group. I can say, yes! Yes, already, because it helps with the loneliness. Thanks for reaching out.💕 Take care, gajh.

Doglove24 profile image
Doglove24 in reply toPhoebeAgora

I have struggled most of my life with depression/anxiety . I suffered major depression anxiety in 2023 and have t been able to drive or out. My husband and delivery is what I depend on . I was addicted to prescription Xanax and they took me off all wrong. I’m struggling more - can’t go out at all, it seems - I could a few times in early 2023. I was social too. Thinking of you.

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply toDoglove24

Thanks, for your response, Doglove. Life can be so hard, and trying to get off Xanax makes it a nightmare. Sorry, you had to go through that. Like you, I've battled depression and anxiety most of my life, the result of a really screwed up childhood with parents who were alcoholics, themselves victims of depression and anxiety. From generation to generation, on and on it goes. It is hard to accept that my life has changed so dramatically from being actively involved in my community to a lonely shut in. Very weird slide. I see your "handle" and your profile pic refer to a dog. Hopefully, you get a lot of comfort from your furball. Envious.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi PhoebeAgora, I was also kept prisoner in my own home for 5 years.

Never went out even to get the mail. Windows were covered and I lived

in a fearful state all the time. Afraid of what?? I didn't know. It was a

feeling so overwhelming. It wasn't a person, it wasn't a situation, it was

an unknown fear. This happened a while back when delivery wasn't as

popular but I made it my go to because I was not about to leave my house.

Having worked at the hospital nearby, I was aware that a new Internal Medicine

doctor had just started his practice. I called his office and was surprised that

he was willing to make monthly house calls to me as well as having his nurse come

and do vitals every week. I was able to have lab tests done as well as mini type

tests. I found Psychologists and Social Workers who would home visit for therapy.

I had a Reiki teacher come to my home once a month for relaxation Reiki.

I felt that I could live like that forever, never having to leave my home or go out again.

As each year went by, I lost friends and as for family they thought I was crazy.

No one could understand. I don't even think the doctors did at times.

I did eventually realize that my having everything brought to me, they were enabling

me. I knew I would get better, I just didn't think it would take so long.

Long story short (too late now lol) I did finally get back control of my life.

I knew I would and I knew that I wanted to pay my success forward and so, here

I am. Life is Good. I am back to being myself. It can happen. I never gave up

hope and I always believed I could do it. My best to your success as well :) xx

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply toAgora1

Oh, so good to hear, you're free! Very encouraging to hear, but, goodness, 5 years is a long time. Every once in awhile, I think I'll get better too . . I really do. It's been two years for me now - I never anticipated the agoraphobia would last so long, though when I look back and see how far I've come (I have!) I pat myself on the back. I didn't take care of myself back then and now I'm so much better at doing that. It must have been awful when your family and friends didn't understand. You know, the way agoraphobia is represented in movies is ridiculous. Hollywood always makes the agoraphobic insane. Again, glad you're doing so much better. Thanks, for your support.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply toPhoebeAgora

It's an amazing feeling Phoebe. I am grateful everyday to wake up to

the door of my mind being open. No more locks, I'm free.

I so wish that for you and others going through the same thing.

If I can support you in any way, please reach out. I'm here for you :) xx

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply toAgora1

Thank you so much!

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman

I, agree, with all the posts & have done similar --Have had & have Panic Disorder, OCD, GAD (don't like to use diagnoses, but just to let you know). Many things helped me over the years, tho., I still struggle, at times. Recent loses (I am a bit older than you) of my Mom, my Sig. Other, friends, the Pandemic, etc. increased my anxiety; however, I find that retreating in fear (which I used to do) only makes you More fearful! If you haven't, as yet, Read Dr. Claire Weekes book, Hope & Help for your Nerves --This, helped me Greatly to go out alone --it's took time & practice, but I can be sure if you Practice the method in Dr. Weekes books, you will find that you Will be able to go out of your house & almost anywhere! Another book of Dr. Weekes is: Peace from Nervous Suffering (much on Agoraphobia in that book). Her books may be under slightly different names, but look up Dr. Claire Weeks. Her books of long ago are Much relevant today as they were then!

PhoebeAgora profile image
PhoebeAgora in reply toWeatherwoman

Yes, it was the losses in my life that triggered the agoraphobia - it began as form of grieving. It's good to hear you've faced your fears and have learned to deal with them. I googled Dr. Claire Weeks and there is much written about her and her books. She's interesting in and of herself; the fact that she has an historical place in the study and research of anxiety, is fascinating. I read that she was a pioneer in the treatment of anxiety. Thanks so much for your reference. I look forward to reading her.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toPhoebeAgora

Yes, she was a pioneer & many current therapists refer to her today! When you read her books, it's like she is sitting right next to you, like she knows Exactly what you are thinking & what you are Afraid of. Because, it's mostly about Fear! And, it is part of our human nature to be fearful; but, as Dr. Weeks says in Peace from Nervous Suffering --it's the Intensity of the fear & its constant presence (paraphrasing here) that makes that is the problem, and to heal, we must reduce intensity & the continuing of the fear. You will find her writing so clear, and she comes across as very kind & understanding.

prattola profile image
prattola

Hello. Nice to virtual meet you. I have a son, 30 who is agoraphobic. It is breaking my heart. He started having panic attacks at age 10. We are constantly trying to get him help. I am always hopeful and will never give up on him. It is nice to connect with someone who is agoraphobic as well. I hope you write back and we can share ideas and how to work through this.

Nutrigrainlover profile image
Nutrigrainlover

I suffer from Agoraphobia as well and my faith is what keeps me going every day. I’ve been struggling with it for about three years now.

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