venting

[darkthoughts504]

Hi, I am over 50 now and I have been battling depression, etc most of my life, I have fought to stay alive and sane for my kids until they reached adulthood which all are grown now. I kind of ready to give up now! I had a bad childhood well most of my life has been shitty and I was sexual assaulted twice. Plus, so much more has happened to me and I am just tired of thinking about everything. And I 'm so tired of not being well, poor, etc. too much to bare. I think about suicide a lot but I really want to be here too help my last two kids get on their own first. P.S I do not like psyc meds

[LadyZen]

Your post is not that different from my life, except I was able to find some peace with therapy and medication. I hope you can find some peace too.

[darkthoughts504 in reply to LadyZen]

Hi, me to and thanks

[Sunrisetabby]

I am less than ten years younger than you, and I confess to often having similar thoughts. Although my two kids are still a bit younger and at home. It sounds silly, at least it did to me then, but when I was receiving impatient psychiatric care the therapist who led CBT sessions talked about how he volunteered on weekends at homeless shelters and in prisons, not in order to help other people, but to help himself. Trying to find a community and local connections is so hard not also so helpful. Have you thought of doing any volunteer work for a cause that excites you, maybe the local humane society, a local shelter, school, etc. Try to find some activities or hobbies that interest you and join local groups with other people interested in those activities.

[darkthoughts504 in reply to Sunrisetabby]

Hi, I have always wanted to volunteer at a hosp or shelter when I was in Louisiana. I currently live in Ga and I don't have a car with is another why I am sad, etc. Not having a car made it harder for me to get too certain places that is why I and returning to new orleans. My hometown is small and i can get around better and I will look into what u suggested when I am back home. Good luck and thank u

[Pel3749]

I am hoping that you are better today. Went through similar problems. Your family needs you, please talk with a doctor or a therapist for help. They definitely where there for me. I started to take medication and after awhile I was much improved and grateful. God bless you,