New year Eve

[Need2beMeAgain23]

today has made me realize more n more I need to get myself together because I have always put everyone first and let myself deal with everything else and since then my depression and anxiety has made me feel more uncomfortable and uncertain that I’m second guessing myself again because I want to keep certain people to be happy that I reach out to my boyfriend today how I am feeling and trying to get support I need his words were you’re doing fine until you let your kids get involved back but today he keep ignoring me so I walk outside n ask him what are your plans for tonight he’s words were don’t worry about me because you do whatever u want to do so I got upset I said this is getting old and tired and walk away n send him 2 long paragraphs on text messages n blocked him! My anxiety and depression kick in so I got into a link of meditation to help calm instead of going to doing wrong decisions and regret it! So I decided to attend my church that has church services bringing into the new year but if keep staying here right in the house I stay with him I don’t want my depression making me decided not do anything but I don’t want be anywhere else right now cuz I’m feeling so many emotions I can’t deal with all the out burst of crying!

[Need2beMeAgain23]

Yes it seem that way because he makes feel like I’m the one in wrong or whatever the case and my kids are out living life and I got spend some time with on Christmas which was good for me and yes I do want to be in church to get away because being in this house all it does makes me depressed and anxious before I want to say something and I don’t want get out of hand! I just bring it In peaceful as possible! Thank you for your response may u have a good New Year

[bethelbee]

Good for you blocking your boyfriend! Maybe it's time to rethink the relationship, if you haven't been already. Glad you did what you wanted last night; time to do that more often and nurture yourself. Put yourself first!!

[Need2beMeAgain23 in reply to bethelbee]

yes I felt good that I put myself first again and not to let the negativity get to me so he justifies his actions and today as well I spent it with family eating and watching movies and I actually was able to enjoy the time doing it!and yes I am rethinking a lot about it in order for me to be able get my life back in track with out walking around on eggshells or wondering on it