I have never posted anything like this before so this may come off like a classroom discussion post. I keep telling people "It's just that time of year" and "I don't like Christmas" but it is so much more than that. It is everything and nothing all at once. I am learning that my anxiety isn't just anxiety. It is so many emotions wrapped into one, but the worst is fear. I am stuck between allowing myself some grace (because I am doing so much better than I was last year at this time) and fear that I won't be able to get out of bed again soon. I am very lonely. Even surrounded by people. I continue to look for distractions in the form of people so I can feel whole and safe. However, they are temporary.
How do I find happiness and peace within myself?
Written by
lemonbee
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I have anxiety and I am able to find peace through daily meditation. It has taken quite a bit of practice. When I am focused on my breath, I am not worrying about the future.
When the mind wanders, I am aware of this, and gentle redirect my thinking mind to my breathing.
This also lowers my heart rate, which tends to signal to the mind to feel more relaxed. Focusing on my breathing is also focusing on the present moment. So I am not thinking about the past or the future.
I do this two times per day at regular times, but when I feel anxiety randomly creeping up throughout the day, I will typically stop and do 5 minutes of this. It prevents spiraling.
Maybe this is just a tough time of year for you. You said you had been doing well. It's not unusual that certain times of year can cause us to feel a bit worse
I found peace when I learned the root of my issues. You can do it just don't give up
It's not an answer I like to hear myself, but it just takes time and practice, and sometimes therapy and medication. It has gotten better for me over the years.
Hello and Welcome. This site is a great distraction. You can get to know people who can relate to depression and anxiety. There are people here who have recovered from anxiety and share their stories with us. It is very inspiring. There is hope. Some of us will be here on Christmas day so you don't have to be alone you can come and join us.
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Managing my anxiety 
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