Any positive tips?

[lifetime1010]

I am in a vulnerable place. I am dealing with very overwhelming anxiety, shame, and insecurity. and I heard some hard truths of my weaknesses, of my flaws, of my mistakes. I wish I was mature enough to start making the changes right away towards those 'flaws'. Yet, my ego arises I feel prideful, stubborn, angry, frustrated, and wanting to protect an identity of "perfection", an identity deserving "respect". I feel so frustrated I feel or think those thoughts. I feel weak and worthless. too afraid to ask for what I really want. Always wanting it to be soft, nice, easy. I know this isn't all I am. I know of the "realities" of the world. I am just dealing with overwhelming anxiety, shame in the bones, insecurity, and a lack of support. I am just not yet accustomed to being independent. Yet, I feel so easily worthless by the judgment of others upon my weaknesses. Yet, I also feel I needed to hear it. But, a part of me has yet to mature.

I really want to smoke and I wish I had weed all for just the confidence now to do what I need to do. and so I also could just focus on my life. Yet, with or without drugs I cannot wait, I must just keep on going and do what I need to do to live. Choosing life for myself, or dying thinking I am a victim... choosing life for myself seems to be the hard part, as I was just used to living for others.

In the mind it all makes sense. But, my heart has yet to be as strong as the mind is in me. But, I can't wait for the heart to feel strong to move. How do you guys deal with that? if you have experienced that. Is the answer really just to do and move? I don't want to, yet life goes on nevertheless awaiting my choice. I just want to be loved, and I am learning no one no thing can sustain that in me. I must

Does anyone have any tips to be self-empowered, and confident within oneself as one is?

Does anyone have any kind thoughts I could shine upon myself during this time?

honestly i am so tired of checking texts over and over and over and over and over again for hours so here is just what was passing my mind.

Thanks

muin33

[StopTheMotor]

Hi Muin. I’ve been anxious all my life. And more recently it has become severe resulting in a lot of physical symptoms. I say that to say that, along the journey I’ve been open to just telling people that I have it. Most of the time people don’t care or understand but they’re never rude. Occasionally I’ve come across other sufferers and it has how o have built a little support network for myself. Just my two cents on it.

[lifetime1010 in reply to StopTheMotor]

Hi StopTheMotor. Thanks I appreciate the reply. I also get some physical symptoms, I hope both ours cease to be one day. 👍

[Agora1]

Hi muin33, I don't know how old you are, but know that as you experience these

harsh comments in life and mature, it will give you the motivation to change.

You are absolutely right in that these changes must come from you for you. Upon reading your post, I believe you do have

the tools to grow and move forward.

Becoming independent and self confident is a growing stage

that you will attain once the time is right for you.

It will happen dear one. xx

[lifetime1010 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much.

[Zhangliqun]

If you wait for your heart to be ready, you will never move. That may be part of why you seem to be stuck right now. Start doing what needs to be done and your heart will fall in line, and even if it doesn't keep going anyway.

There's an old saying men have about this, best said with a NY accent: Ya gotta do whatcha gotta do...

[Agora1 in reply to Zhangliqun]

xx

[lifetime1010 in reply to Zhangliqun]

Thanks Zhangliqun for the clear good advice. these simple truths help me.