Hello everyone. You likely don't remember me, but I briefly joined the Anxiety and Depression Support forum a months ago (can't remember exactly). However, I deleted because I felt I wasn't participating as-much-as I should have. Insecurity over my inability to clearly express and articulate my feelings also contributed to that; And, I'm a terrible conversationalist (i never know what to say). But I wanted to rejoin because I'm lonely and have no one to talk to in real life. I still have no friends, I still feel immense shame over missing out on formative life experiences, working still terrifies me, I feel shame for being a 28 year old that's so behind, and I still feel as if I can't relate to anyone. Ugh. Sorry the sappiness, but that's my situation.
Nevertheless, I recall how compassionate and kind you all were to me when I first joined. It reminded me that I wasn't alone. Thank you for kindness, and I hope to participate more going forward.
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quietmaroon4
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I'm sorry you are feeling low at this moment. I can understand where you are coming from.
I didn't do things throw my teenage years. I didn't go to proms, parties, date etc. I used to feel the FOMO real bad. Because I was missing out on life. I was trapped in my 4 walled cell (bedroom) because of my anxiety, agoraphobia and that lead into depression. I felt like such a loser.
But I found a therapist who was really good to me and I began working on myself. Eventually I laid down a foundation to build on. I started to get out more. Eventually I got my driver's license at 24. Big achievement but then I started to downplay it because again shame.
However I started to realize time is irrelevant. I'm not on anybody's time clock. It's just me against me. I'm only hurting myself when I start to compare myself to what I thought was perfect. I found out there were a lot of people who didn't get their license at 16. I assumed that's the age everyone does it. Turns out, not so much.
I ,too, thought I'm starting life so late that I'm behind others. And I'm playing catch up in this game called life. However I'm realizing now that whatever time things happen for me. It's when it was supposed to come together for me. I just have to put in the work on myself and it'll pay off eventually. And I think starting off a little later than most gives me a different perspective.
I'm more grateful and appreciative of what I achieved and accomplish. I take my time to celebrate my wins instead of letting them fall by the way side and going right back into the grind.
So you got a lot of time to do whatever it is you want to do. And whatever time you get it, there's no shame in it.
Also don't apologize for how you feel. Your feelings, emotions are valid.
Thank you for those words; they were deeply comforting and resonant. And kudos to you for getting help and persevering despite what you went through. It's inspiring and a reminder that circumstances can change for the better. And regarding your words about starting life late -- You're right. Life isn't a strict sequence of benchmarks that one needs to hit. It's so much more fluid and messy and beautiful and complicated than that, so I shouldn't beat myself up. Things will happen when they happen. Lately, I've been fascinated with the 'Late Bloomer' concept, and thinking about what you said reminds me to view my situation from that perspective. Thanks again and peaceful wishes to you as well.
Hello quietmaroon4......i am delighted you are back and don't ever feel you are not contributing enough , sometimes it's good to be on the sidelines and say a few words when you feel comfortable. I often get tongue tied and not sure what to say and sit back and say nothing. It creates feelings of loneliness which is painful in itself, but do stick with us, we are an understanding bunch.
welcome back quietmaroon! Please never "should on yourself" here! I feel it is always the more the merrier even if we don't all write a whole bunch, or we don't write anything at all. Emotions are nothing you need to apologize for either, we feel what we feel and we are here to understand and feel these emotions. It is impossible to know what to say, especially to those that are going through really tough times, but I think it is always nice to feel understood, express understanding, and some empathy. I am glad you are here. ☮️
Hey LoveforAll41. Yes, being understood is so affirming. But, if I don't express my thoughts/emotions as eloquently and perfectly as possible, I feel people won't understand. It's something I need to work on. It's all in my head. People want to understand. People want to help. Thanks again for commenting and I wish you peace.
Nobody should judge how your able to express yourself,...we all struggle....and your struggle is valid. I can't spell....so I use word and spell check....not everyone has the gift of gab....so just be yourself and share what your comfortable with...it's all good.
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