Was doing ok then it all came back

[Falcon40]

So I am about 4 weeks in from a major depressive episode/extreme anxiety that led me to the hospital. In my recovery process I had been doing what I thought was pretty good. Joy had not returned but I was able to function with chores, eating better, exercise. Well yesterday I went swimming and the panic feelings came back. I had a pretty rough day with anxiety and thinking this was never going to end. Didn't sleep well and woke up with more anxiety and suicidal thoughts racing through my brain. I keep thinking how much more of this can I take. I have to keep fighting because I know I would never commit suicide. But it is so painful. I just want the pain to go away. Has anyone else felt like they just don't know how they are going to make it through another day? What tips do you have to keep you motivated to keep going? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[mizzou7016]

falcon this is what i try to do

it's an easy answer to a complex situation

[mizzou7016]

here is another 1

for help in focus

[Agora1 in reply to mizzou7016]

mizzou, these are great reminders for those of us who think this will never end.

Life for today, tomorrow will take care of itself. With thanks xx

[melist95]

Yes I feel some days are better than others and my sleep is greatly affected as well. I was doing better and then had suicidal thoughts and I overdosed on my pills actually trying to commit suicide because I was SO tired of the pain. Through these support groups I have found that so many people are in pain and suffer from this. One thing that helps me is journaling every single morning and rating my mood on a scale of 0 (basically suicidal) and 1000 (a euphoric amazing mood where everything seems perfect) I also journal about my feelings, and don't judge how I feel I just get it all out there on paper it feels releasing. I also try to add to my journal 3-5 things I am thankful for every single day. Depression can come out of nowhere and from others looking in they often don't understand the reason for the depression- I have people tell me all the time that my life looks fine from the outside, what do I have to be depressed about, but they don't understand the mental anguish I am in from past mistakes and past traumas and the anxiety of worrying about the future and feeling like things will never get better. Hang in there and message me if you need someone to talk to.

[Falcon40 in reply to melist95]

Thank you for sharing. It was a bit of a rough day but taking it one step at a time I made it and am feeling a little relief this evening. Tomorrow is a new day. I will try the journaling. I have heard this can be really beneficial. Peace to you.

[Agora1 in reply to melist95]

melist, severe suicidal thoughts or actions requires professional care.

We can support you but also need to keep you safe. I'm glad you are here with

us. Reach out anytime when the going gets overbearing. We Care xx

[bonkers65]

Just remember you made it through yesterday so you can do it again. And let time pass.

[brendahol]

I understand how anxiety and depression can strike out of nowhere. It has happened to me also. I have dealt with this since I was 20. But the good news is this site has helped me more than anything else I have tried. Listen to all of the comments. Pick and choose what works for you. No one ever told me to go with the anxiety, don’t try to fight it, and it will pass. Everyone on here is here to help. Best wishes.