Hoping all feel OK today

[Pitalife]

I'm just reaching out to the community for little peer help..it's my Lil brothers birthday coming up and he committed suicide and it's tough on me,I'm sole caregiver for my mother who's struggles w severe depression and anxiety disorders have haunted me my whole life,I got my disorders and chronic pain,my mom's clipped with severe arthritis n lupus,and I have same genetic make up..its very hard for me,I don't do to good in counseling but I'm tolerating my meds thus far,I'm just coming out of a spell of bad mania from my bi polar disorder,I just spent 1000$ on my credit card buying things in 2,s 3,s and more then I don't need or even use the stuff I bought,it bothers me the regret n now how my going to pay it off.Adds more stress to my life but I don't realize I've done it till I calm down hopefully..my anxiety neds where taken away n I been struggling intensely day by day,I don't sleep well sometimes up for days n Lil to eat or appetite,its very rough and it's made life more difficult as it already is....I hope all out there who struggle find peace,I just had to vent some of my feeling w you all...bless n love to all who struggle w mental illness.id love to hear from you.....thnx...

[kenster1]

sorry to hear about your brother and all your other issues stay strong you got this far.

[Pitalife in reply to kenster1]

Thnx kenster,it's tough time for sure...thanks for reaching out..

[Pitalife]

Great advice thank u dearly..yes my mom's more then aware of the date..not her mind that's bad,she's got mind like a steel trap..I do get me time but I lay n think myself into mania,I been working on that,missing my Lil dog he kept me moving n going for walks,just not the same w out him..it's tough....thnx for the love..grateful I am...just Moreso confused n more confused,I can't make plans for future way things are n it's tough..

[designguy]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, I can unfortunately relate. I lost a younger brother to suicide a number of years ago, it was the worst and hardest day of my life and it's always hard around the anniversary of his birthday and even his death. I still miss him very much and the pain is still there but isn't as overwhelming as it use to be. I've done a lot of healing around his loss and acceptance that none of it was my or anyone else's fault and that I can't control what someone else does even if we are related. I also know he would want me to get on with my life and be happy and enjoy it and I hope you will find the same for yourself and be kind and compassionate and take yourself also.

[Pitalife in reply to designguy]

Thank you very much,I'm findingnits something we,ll never truly heal from guessbthe memories linger on.its most tough on my mom,he was the baby of the family..thnx for support it's very much needed n appreciated ..thnx again....

[designguy in reply to Pitalife]

You're welcome and I totally agree, there is a big hole with his being gone and there is still pain there but it's not overwhelming like it was and life does go on. Take care of yourself too.

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to designguy]

Wow RIP to your brother designguy. So sorry you lost him. Proud of your hard work to help yourself cause u are showing ur brother that in honor of that bond and relation u are treating your mental health. I’m sure he’s proud. 🙏🏻

[designguy in reply to SayNOtoPanic]

Thanks very much, what a nice comment, it's greatly appreciated!

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to designguy]

🙏🏻ur welcome

[SayNOtoPanic]

RIP to your brother, your guardian Angel. You are not alone Pitalife. Big hugs. And to your mama as well. I’m Sure she’s honored and grateful to have you taking care of her. I can relate btw to the purchasing when stressed or multiples of something. Is that what they call retail therapy? Idk 🤷‍♀️ the therapy disappears after the bill comes. But don’t be hard on yourself. We all have our habits, good or bad. Maybe just return some stuff u don’t use I do that sometimes and feel better. 🙏🏻💪🏻