Its 8:30 pm My ex-partner has the movers here.

[wittsend0]

My anxiety is through the roof, I am feeling a crushing wave of Loneliness and she isn't out the door yet. And this was and is an unhealthy relationship. So I should be happy to see her go.

All my planning for moving has completely gone wrong. That’s what denial does for you.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in three or more weeks.

It's amazing I haven't ended up in the fetal position on the floor as yet.

Just feeling nauseous.

I am truly alone at this point; friends have all fallen by the wayside. I haven't had a relationship with family members in over ten years. That was truly an unhealthy circumstance.

The rental townhouse will be 80% empty except for my things which don't seem to able to fit on the Bus I purchased thinking a roof over my head and a toilet made sense since I have colitis and never know when it will strike. The garage is 50% full and I have no Idea where it will go.

I had three people this week tell me I am too nice. To much a nice guy.

If I had any balls I would pull the trigger... never had the nerve, thought about it often.

I pray every night to not wake up . Let it be over.

How screwed it is to live a life of physical and emotional pain that never ends.

I should be happy to start a new adventure, instead I am depressed.

Pills didn’t help. Therapy didn’t help.

Venting helps, but only to a point.

I will wake up again tonight from a dead, I finally passed out sleep, with an overwhelming anxiety attack. And then not fall back to sleep. It's been happening almost every night for weeks.

Venting helps, but only to a point.

Thanks for taking the time.

[gajh]

I am sorry that you are suffering. I am glad you are here venting.

[wittsend0 in reply to gajh]

Thanks, that’s what this place is for... isnt it? At least for me.

[gajh in reply to wittsend0]

Absolutely. Sharing and being cared for.

[wittsend0 in reply to gajh]

And now I just want to break down and cry... its amazing what a little recognition does.

[gajh in reply to wittsend0]

Definitely go ahead and cry. You deserve a good cry.

[wittsend0 in reply to gajh]

thanks

[wittsend0]

So what does it say about me if the I see anybody in real life, tv or otherwise that gets a little recognition and I start to weep.

[gajh in reply to wittsend0]

It says you need some recognition.

[wittsend0 in reply to gajh]

Half laugh

[Shnookie]

Please call 988 crisis hotline. They R compassionate and helpful. U R very brave to have reached out here. Good luck

[Focusedmind]

Breaking up from any long-term relationship, even a bad one, can be very painful! Be patient with yourself because if this was an unhealthy relationship, then you made a move in the right direction. And as Shnookie says above, call a crisis line if your mind becomes too critical. One step at a time. Look for new friends and relationships in areas of interest you have and plan for the future.

[fauxartist]

What your experiencing is valid.... any breakup...even the ones you know were not healthy are very devastating....and it's a grief and loss like loosing a family member or friend. It's not uncommon to feel this level of distress....you sadly just have to go through the motions, but when your up for it...seek help....in the mean time...one day at a time...do the best you can do each day....

Believe me...been there too....and it just took a long time, and lots of deep breaths, lots of tears, sleepless nights, a broken heart needs time to mend, but it will if you let it....one foot in front of the other, even when you don't think you can....you can.

[Sandpiper14]

I’m sorry to hear you are going through this.

Break ups are the worst regardless of whether it’s the right thing or not. Time heals and one day you won’t feel the same as you do now. As you said focus on this as if it’s a new chapter, some time to grow yourself as a person.

I really hope things get better for you soon. Please seek urgent support if these feelings persist.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi WE0.

I'm sorry U feel so lost & afraid & I can tell U its happened to a large number of folks here.

Ur emotions coming to the surface is something that is fine as each emotion is a valid part of U.

As someone has mentioned 1 foot after the other & right now no rush as U've got other emotions to deal with & ur venting here is OK & a safe place as we can understand why U are feeling as U are.

When ur ready to start learning to get on with life that too is 1 step at a time. Also nothing stopping U from reaching out to family as an understanding relative is a source of strength for U. Yes U said Uve not got any connection but that doesn't mean they will turn U away. I say reach out to family BUT its ur choice & I believe U will be very surprised.

Lastly

I wish U love & light on ur journey.

[wittsend0]

thanks to all for the interest...