I have not posted here before, but I am hopeful this will be a place where I might find a bit of calm during my storm.
I have been a teacher for 18 (+) yrs. I have worked in/taught every grade level K-5th during this time. I stepped out of the regular classroom three years ago to become a kindergarten reading specialist. During my time in this position, I have not had any “formal” training and I have been in four different schools with four drastically different mindsets as to what my position should “look like” from four different principals and two assistant principals (I had good evaluations from my last two years.) This year has been especially tough as I have been learning my fourth school in three years and thus far I have not seemed to please my principal with the work I’m doing. I have bent over backwards to try and do everything she has asked me to do and it is just never enough. I am so frustrated and I feel like a complete failure as a teacher. My spirit is completely shattered and I have lost all my self confidence/esteem now. All I want to do is sob all day every day and jump out of my skin when anyone comes near me (at work, home, and out and about). I know this is unhealthy and I have tried desperately to counter my anxiety in positive ways, but my efforts have been for nought. What can I do to help convince my mind that my world is not coming to an end and this storm will eventually pass? I’m sooooooo tired of fighting what I feel is a losing battle. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Thanks for any words of encouragement/advice.