feeling invisible

[Ringlove]

I’m not young, I’m older. I compare myself to others my age. So active. Don’t get sciatica and fatigue after walking 1000 steps like I do. My son in law said I’m not productive. But I am happy with the little quiet niche I carved out for myself. I survived stage 3 cancer- surgery, chemo, radiation, 6 years of tests. I survived a divorce after being together 30 years. My mom died of Alzheimer’s, my dad committed suicide. My relationship after the divorce landed me in a domestic violence shelter, then homeless.

I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful cousin, who had a house that had plenty of empty rooms and I moved in with him seven years ago. Then my youngest daughter moved in to attend college.. she was just diagnosed with OCPD.

so if I feel less than motivated to do much more than what is absolutely necessary in my life, that should be my prerogative at this age. Nobody really listens to me. Nobody thanks me for what I do for them. Nobody says a kind word I feel kind of lost.

I am very grateful that I was spared from death with my cancer. But this is not a Hollywood movie where all the sudden I’m filled with energy and motivated to take on the world. I wish my family understood that.

[IncognitoC]

Wow, you have certainly been through a hell of a lot, you should be extremely proud of yourself. You do what you can and you do what you want that’s should be enough for anyone. A little bit of gratitude for the things you do would make a huge difference to your day. Kind words are worth a thousand silences. Even though you are going through this you still seem up beat which is amazing. I wish my own mother was like you.