Dealing with Divorce and Abuse

[UnderstandingMyPain]

I was married for 10 years to a man that only cared about himself. I fought for our relationship multiple times (for years). I would ask him on a few occasions why does he love me and I would never get a response. I still don’t have an answer from him. I finally was able to find the strength and filed for divorce. He moved out. It was that simple for him. I showed him the divorce papers he didn’t say one thing, he threw them on the floor and started packing his things. I didn’t argue or say anything either. Then I thought I found someone that loved me. He was perfect in my eyes. He was attentive, knew what to say if I was having a bad day and then when he moved in the abuse happened. I would get slapped, punched, kicked, chocked. I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t take a shower by myself. He would have to take one with me. I became fed up in three weeks (all of this took place in a three week period). I had enough I called the police and he was arrested. He was sent to jail. Now I feel like I am being blamed for my divorce and abuse. It’s been mentally draining. The picture I used as my avatar for this page was the last picture I took of myself when I “felt” happy. I kid you not I have not taken a picture of myself since then. I feel defeated.

[Likeabadstorm]

It is not your fault. Hugs!

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Likeabadstorm]

Thank you!! 💜 I try to remind myself that daily

[Likeabadstorm in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Lots of love and hugs sent your way

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Likeabadstorm]

Thank you 💜

[Hidden]

I can’t even begin to understand everything you’ve been through, but I can say I’m impressed and inspired by what you survived. You took back control of your life, you didn’t give up, even though it must have been so hard! I hope you know how important that is, and how strong you are. Your journey to a better life has begun, and it will probably be hard to be happy again, but I am sure you’ll be able to get there.

Sending lots of hugs!

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Hidden]

Wow thanks ❤️ you don’t even know how much that means to me!! It does give me some hope in the darkness.

[Hidden in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Glad I could help a little bit. Hope to hear from you soon ❤️

[hypercat54]

The only people to blame for the abuse are your abusers and as long as you know that then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It wasn't due to anything you said or did these 'men' CHOSE this behaviour of their own free will.

I am wondering if you attract a narcassistic type of partner, if so work on this. Also do some reading about narcs. A good site is PsychCentral and there are lots of videos on YT. x

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to hypercat54]

Yes I have read about NPD! I am in the process now trying to understand why I attract that personality

[hypercat54 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

There are lots of signs you can learn to read so you can recognise early on if someone is a narc. Knowledge is power. x

[hypercat54]

psychcentral.com/disorders/...