Never explain, never complain.

[secrets22]

As a child I was raised in a Christian household, church, choir, every Sunday was taken up with attending church and bible studies, and of course as I got older, I lapsed, but dipping in and out at various stages, exploring various beliefs, Buddhism, Hinduism, as well as some obscure religions, I was a seeker, but in all that time I always had a faith, and i still do which at times I must admit I doubted.

I have never hoisted my beliefs on anyone, i prefer to say i have a simple and gentle faith which matters to me.

I have made mistakes, guilt, regrets, said things i wish I hadn't, would have done things differently, but we are just mere mortals who are far from perfect, but with every step we take, we learn.

One thing i'm sure of is that things we learnt as children stay with us forever.

I have experienced many brickbats, great loss, pain and illness, but i never complained because there are always people struggling and far worse off.

'Never explain, never complain'!

[Shnookie]

What ever pains and challenges you have in your life belong to U. U have a right to complain if you want. Trust me. My father was a Jewish Holocaust survivor. And tho he went thru hell in his young life, I was allowed to express how I felt and if I was min emotional pain. Repressed feelings can build up in you and be negative for your mental health.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Shnookie]

That's it though these repressed feelings don't just go away by magic do they?

[Shnookie in reply to Turnipgirl]

It’s true that the repressed feelings don’t just go away. But if you acknowledge them, you can talk to a therapist and our community at HU and express your feelings. This is a protective place. We are not judging you. Guilt can be toxic. Getting it out of your system no matter how long it takes id a cleansing process.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Shnookie]

One thing I do find that helps is the passing of time as it gives you a different perspective on things and eases the pain.

[Shnookie in reply to Turnipgirl]

You are correct about the passage of time . As the old adage says time heals all wounds. Maybe not all wounds but gives U a different way to look at things. U have made great strides by coming to HU and starting this conversation

[Turnipgirl in reply to Shnookie]

Thank you very much for your understanding.

[Turnipgirl]

One thing I have learned through experience is how problems that seem silly and trivial to one aren't to another!

The there's always others worse off argument is rubbish as you feel how you feel and there's not a limited amount of suffering in the world that you are taking off those supposedly worse off than you when you have problems and talk them through.

Today I have enjoyed a nice lie in and got up at 10.30am and put the washing out on the line to dry as it's sunny and I feel strongly about taking opportunities when they are there.

My father had arrogantly assumed that he had loads of time to do things and had an extension built at their old place and it was a waste as he died before he ever got to use it.

When I was 19 my father had arrogantly assumed I would get married and start a family in my 20s when the reality is nothing in life is guaranteed to anyone.

[Penpallady35]

I'm a believer and brought up in the church and bible. But I must say as I get older I keep wondering why things keep getting harder, prayers and wishes aren't answered, and life just plain sucks for many people. Believe me I have no answers, less since covid came to visit. It feels as if God, Spirit, call it Higher Power, whatever dosen't seem to care for his children like the Bible says. So I've been seeking for answers through exploring groups like this, listening to utube videos, prayer, and just walking in nature with my dog. Not sure what really else to do, I am depressed and anxious all the time. Forget trying to get counseling, everyone is either booked up or not taking anyone. All I can say is I hear all of you, and the only answer I can come up with, is let's try to help each other.

[secrets22 in reply to Penpallady35]

hello Penpallady35.....yes i do find myself questioning my faith at times, and i think covid and lockdown has much to answer for.😓

[Arymretep]

Hi secrets , with you and the late Queen on this , never explain, never complain, as you say there’s always someone worse off than you, and no one really wants to hear other peoples problems when they have worse of their own, we should count our blessings instead of moaning about trivial things like being upset over what someone says to you, rise above it.

[Penpallady35 in reply to Arymretep]

I agree with not complaining believe me. My older son is after me everyday to give thanks and as you say "count your blessings." Thanks for reminding my thick skull, I have so many blessings and things to be thankful for.

[secrets22 in reply to Arymretep]

Unfortunately we dont always see the blessings we have when we are weighed down with stress or depression.

[Arymretep in reply to secrets22]

True, but sometimes it helps to concentrate on the positive in our lives.