What do I do?

[Adlon57]

I am 66 living by myself for the last twenty years, my health has always been bad all my life, a right pain in the posterior mentally and physically to the rest of the family, I have two sisters living in the same town, one has PTSD and prefers to be on her own, mentally fragile near the surface, the other sister, lives with one of her sons, about five minutes walk away from me, she has been 'converted' in the last five years, her late husband an alcoholic, and her late boyfriend was similar position. I have been a strong agnostic for forty years, I wrote a letter to my parents laying out my beliefs etc in 1982, which they accepted! I have an older brother who lives in Wales, again converted many years ago. My sister who lives close to me pops in every couple of days, every sentence she speaks on average the word "church" is included, maybe she is trying to save my soul, as I am terminally ill, [she is perfectly aware of my beliefs, but never really gone into details about it🙄] going through various bouts of bad health, which I have regularly illustrated in various emails in HU over the years. I know my belief now is set, have my will, etc up to date, but still she go's on🥴😵 even down the phone! In 2017 I had an enlightening period, I was on an Epileptic drug [Fycompa], I attempted suicide, I saw a white light, felt an immense calm, when I had swallowed a number of pills, I awoke and puked up the medications, but then realised my beliefs were ok👍 for me I was going up the right path inwardly. I believe my health has badly affected both my sisters mentally over my life, not helping one's PTSD. My other sister has turned to religion, her last couple of years not very happy, so if I tell her my TRUE beliefs and what I REALLY think of her christianity, it might drive her over the edge mentally, she always talks about her churchwork EVERY time I see her, it will happen I will have to enlighten her of the real situation, as you realise I do not believe in religion FULL STOP!

[Atthepark]

I can't argue w u I have my own reasons for nit believing in religion and would not like to share why bc of all the hate mongers but I get you and I know it's hard having family who are supposedly deep in the faith they always got to rub it your face screw them

[Adlon57 in reply to Atthepark]

Thanks Atthepark I live in N. Ireland, when I was 19 I was engaged to a Catholic girl, I have a Irish sounding first name, I was 'summonded' in front of her family home telling I would be ostracized if we carried on, I remember thinking how stupid this was after all we were all meant to be 'Christians'? this started my doubt in religion as a whole? Then people being brought up using a book as a strict 'rule' book, meant to have been written 2 thousand years ago, losing meaning over mistranslations and mistranslations over those years🙄

[Xene]

I’m not a believer but I respect all religions as that is what the people who follow them believe in. At the end of the day no one can definitively prove a spiritual creator does or doesn’t exist. I think your sister should respect your opinions whether she agrees or not.

[optimismrus]

Your belief is important, too. Try saying, "sis or bro, I love you and I respect your beliefs but could we talk about something else"? If they can't hear you and it upsets you, make the calls as brief as possible. I wish you the best. 🥰

[Adlon57 in reply to optimismrus]

I have been doing that for decades, but they want my 'soul' , my belief comes within me, not from a book, my belief and soul is private to me, not to some super human being[God] whose rules must be strictly adhered to, this covers all religions, but I have learnt over the decades to bite my lip, respect their belief or faith everyone has a belief no matter how wrong I think they are! It is the way or arrogance how they try or assume that Christianity formerly the 'main' religion in UK, so is the ONLY religion, so it must be right for everyone, so they stuff it down everyone's throat!🙄

[Adlon57 in reply to optimismrus]

Thanks optimismrus in theory , hopefully should work, but it's like trying to stop the inevitable, trying to change the subject, gets a little strained at best, it will come out eventually, a wrong word or expression like walking on glass at present🤞

[northwoodboy]

Hi It looks like we were born in the same year and I am also English but living in California. I did my first post today feeling desperate with lots of suicidal ideations which make life pretty miserable. I wanted to reply for 2 reasons I know that it helps me if I can help someone else in some way , my daughter's boyfriend is also struggling with depression and there is a positive effect when I speak to him and try to guide him towards possible solutions. The other reason is I am currently weaning myself off drugs that were not working anymore and I am planning on taking psilocybin. I am interested as there is a growing body of evidence supporting its use for mental health. I know psilocybin is not available in the UK but it can be obtained easily in the Netherlands. Have you considered looking at new and interesting alternatives like psilocybin or ketamine?

[Adlon57 in reply to northwoodboy]

I don't think you read my enquiry right, true I tried suicide but that was directly because I was on Fycompa, for my FME epilepsy in 2017. I am terminally ill, because of irreparable brain damage caused by a double seizure in 2018.

I am depressed because one of my sisters believes that her god must save my soul, because I am terminally ill, I also believe that this process is causing mental damage to herself, ignoring my beliefs, which I have had for over forty years, she cannot understand my way of thinking? [Actually have an older sister who lives in England, who is in the same way of thinking🙄]

I am not scared of death, have come to terms with it, when diagnosed in July 2021 [seconded via my epilepsy specialist in Jan 2023], my belief comes from inside me!👍

I am on various medications for my epilepsy, diabetes 2, high blood pressure, high liver level caused by malpractice from supposed Prostate Cancer🙄 I have High Pain Threshold so am immune to pain killers! In truth I try to stay off as much medications, as I have a high percentage of reactions to various medications, right across the board, as possible!

[Midori]

I'll be with you all the way, Adlon, My faith is my own and owes Nothing to the desert god. I just try to be a kind and helpful person to all.

Can you go No Contact with your Sister? Might be better for your mental health.

OK, do you have your Funeral arrangements and your Will dealt with? If not, please do so,

I'm in my last few years too, I'm 75.

Cheers, Midori

[Adlon57 in reply to Midori]

Thanks Midori amazing the number of agnostics are around, I just try to keep my belief to myself, especially in Northern Ireland.

She is normally alright, but lately with my decline in health, Jesus or nothing, and endless reports of how she is doing in her Church🙄

After my diagnosis in July 2021, I have sorted out Funeral arrangements with my solicitor, and my Will.

I became 66 and Prostate Cancer with good measure, the hormone injection did more harm than most "early stage" cancers, if I did have any cancer at all🙄

[desert god🤔🤭]

all the best

Adlon

[Midori in reply to Adlon57]

I challenged myself to read the first five books of the Old Testament, and I found that it was just a Health and Safety manual for living in a desert environment.

Circumcision, not good for sand to collect there.

Dietary rules; Pork goes off very quickly, as does small rabbit-like critturs, Milk goes off in hot climates, so mixing it with meat, urgh! Shellfish, equally short shelflife.

Just a couple things which stayed in my mind.

Cheers, Midori

[Adlon57 in reply to Midori]

I am a historian so it fell at the first hurdle, not historically correct🤔🥱

cheers Adlon

[Adlon57 in reply to Midori]

Well Midori it finally happened she could not understand my way of thinking why I did not come out and help the poor people, like she does? I do not go out because of my poor health, and do not want to help people to put christian beliefs etc, into their poor heads!

So I have sent the full story of my beliefs, and my feelings about christianity and its overbearing on general society to her, nothing left out!

I don't think she will be talking to me for a while, like I said it will probably be coming out, it has!

I am very disappointed in her, surprised she could see my way of thinking, like so many people especially in Northern Ireland, christianity belief blind!

all the best

Adlon

[Adlon57 in reply to Adlon57]

She had not replied because she had not looked up her back emails from weeks ago, I had seen her on Saturday, thought all was sorted, levelled up, never mentioned a thing about it, then she sends me a gurning email today! Guess will not be getting my birthday card?🥴🤭

[Sillysausage234]

so where did Jesus sandals come from then ?

[Adlon57]

Yes actually wearing a plastic pair now, very comfortable, especially in the garden!

[Toddzen]

It's difficult being around people who are always pushing their Religion and talking about God. I am a Spiritual person not Religious. My sister an Atheist. I don't share my beliefs with her. You may ask your Sister not to talk about her Religion.

[Adlon57 in reply to Toddzen]

In theory Toddzen yes, but they ALWAYS believe their Religion is right, no exceptions, they CANNOT understand other points of view, because Christianity has been pushed into the heads of people for over 2 thousand years, they CANNOT be wrong🙄as with other religions! I have laid out my plea, whether she believes it or not, that is my defence, I have heard so many people lay out so SIMILAR cases "Open-minded people do not impose their beliefs on others. They just accept all of life's perspectives and realities, doing their own thing in peace without judging anyone"

[Midori]

Absolutely so!

Cheers, Midori

[Adlon57 in reply to Midori]

Relief Midori, ball definitely in her court!🎾👍