I am angry, how do I stop

[politeplants]

I feel very upset by a very small thing. I’m especially upset writing this because it just happened. But it’s something that barely matters and yet I feel so upset. I’ve just been sitting still staring at a wall and images of me smashing cups and throwing over desks and screaming on the floor keep going through me and it feels hard not to. I was never an angry person and I don’t know how to deal with all of this anger or where it’s coming from. I don’t know how to calm myself down and when I get angry i stay angry until I fall asleep because it just lingers. I don’t know what to do because I feel it hot everywhere and I’m scared of myself and i don’t know what to do and i am panicking. What do i do to stop being angry?

[Lovecatspetrats]

Hey there. I don’t have all the answers but I am quite familiar with anger. In my case, I’ve discovered that I never really learned to feel my feelings. So anything that I felt, sadness, fear, anxiety etc, I could only express it with anger. I felt rage when I should have felt hurt. And I’ve acted on anger and pushed people away with it even though it made me feel worse after. I’m not the best at any kind of advice, so I’m wondering if maybe I can just relate. Every little thing would send me over the edge, and sometimes still does. A lot of time I have to stop myself and ask why is this making me angry? Am I mad because I can’t express that I feel sad/jealous/tired/offended? And am I acting defensively because I am feeling vulnerable? Give yourself a break, put it out of mind until you feel more calm. Then decide if it really is something that you should feel angry about. You are only human, and humans have big emotions. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling things. Even if it is anger. We are all out here just doing what we can. Sometimes even when people are giving me advice it irritates me. Can’t explain it. But I hope you feel better and know that you aren’t alone.

[fauxartist]

Sometimes anger is rooted in unresolved issues, or in situations your having to put up with in daily life, like a jerk at work or something, but for me, it was unresolved issues. I had to get help to take me back to what that was all about to get a grip on it and then how to learn to cope with it differently other than anger. But sometimes anger is an okay emotion to have in small doses dealing with an immediate situation, and resolving it in a non-destructive way can empower you as well.

[Thankfulforhelp22]

I think my anger comes partially from keep things bottled up inside and feeling like I didn’t have the right to express myself because I wasn’t worthy. There are other causes as well. Therapy has helped me with this in terms of understanding. Anger still comes but the knowledge I have gained helps me disarm it at times.

I wish I had some profound helpful advice. Please know you are not alone in this situation.