Severe Anxiety & Relationship Grief

[nmgarcia]

I need help with my current mental state. I recently ended a long-term relationship and feel betrayed by this person. I've spent the last 11 years with them and we were engaged to be married. Right now I have been waking up in a complete panic and feeling extreme anxiety and depression nonstop. I can't stop crying and I haven't eaten a thing in 2 days. This relationship ending has been extremely traumatic for me and I am suffering and feeling so hopeless. The last few months of the relationship were hard as well, I felt like the other person didn't love me or care for me at all anymore and it ended with an emotional betrayal and I can't stop thinking of the last 11 years that have been thrown away. I feel so alone and so hurt. Has anyone been through a similar experience or currently feeling severely depressed and panicky? How do you deal with it?

[litethatnevergoesout]

I’m. Going through a 20 year loss and have 2 children I never see.

[nmgarcia in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

I'm so sorry, I can only imagine your grief, especially with children in the mix. It must be so hard and feel so lonely. Even though I don't have kids, I'm grieving a long term relationship with someone who I've spent just about every day with through my whole 20s. It feels so lonely and terrifying and the depression is drowning me. I hope that the both of us can get through this awful time.

[OnlyHuman86]

I can DEFINITELY relate. Currently wiping tears from my face. My husband and I have been together for 18 years (married for 4). And I feel we are almost at the end. He completely changed and now treats me as though I never mattered to him. It hurts very deeply and I too go days without eating or even leaving my room. I dont have the answers or a solution YET, but I am here if you ever want to chat/vent. Sometimes just having someone validate your feelings is enough to keep going and trying to get better. Good luck and stay strong. We will get through this!

[nmgarcia in reply to OnlyHuman86]

Thank you for your reply, it's nice to know that someone is in a similar situation. Even leading up to the break up, for months everything was very rough and I could feel the end coming. He didn't treat me right anymore, stopped caring about my feelings or having any empathy, I felt so lonely for so long. Now that it's over it feels even worse knowing that I'll never get those good times back from years ago. It hurts SO much. I've been managing my depression and anxiety for years but it has come back full force with this new trauma. I really hope that you can make it through your situation and that I can make it through mine. You're not alone 🌼

[OnlyHuman86 in reply to nmgarcia]

Same here! He has literally told me he doesn’t care when i explained how I felt. Even snickered when I started to cry. It definitely makes you question your life and if all the good was even real. I keep telling myself he has his own traumas and I know it’s not just me that is making him act this way but it doesn’t make it hurt less. Thank you for also being able to relate. In time I think we will heal. I’m working on loving myself more than I love him. I think that’s the first step. I’ll let you know if I find any ways to cope with this and ask if you find any ways to share them with me too. I’m here for you.

[nmgarcia in reply to OnlyHuman86]

I can relate to your story so much. I saw your other story about how it felt like you were living with a roommate, and that was the exact feeling that I've felt for months. Receiving no love or affection, not caring about my feelings, always mean to me and never sympathetic. Just know you're not alone in this, I have experienced what you are experiencing and I'm sure a lot of other people are too. It's a lonely and heartbreaking situation but you will get through it in time. Know your worth and know that you deserve to be loved properly and that one day, you will receive that love. ❤️

[Snickerdoo45]

I am so sorry you are going through this!! My heart aches for you 😢 I have been experiencing very similar feelings - I got out of an EXTREMELY abusive relationship about 2 years ago. It was a nightmare…he caused me so much trauma I don’t know if I will ever recover. But I find myself completely lost without him. Severely depressed, anxious all the time, and struggling to function. I have no idea why I miss him, or why this has been so hard for me. I really hope things get better for you. I’m here for you, if you ever want to talk. Anytime ❤️

[nmgarcia in reply to Snickerdoo45]

Thank you for your reply, that's exactly how I feel. He was a narcissist and hurt me so much in different ways but I still can't help remembering all the good times and how I will never get them back. I feel completely lost and have no idea what to do with myself, I haven't been alone since I was a teenager... I really hope that this grief gets better soon.

[Pitalife]

I guess be glad for the fact you didn't get married and have to go through all that,you aren't feeling anything abnormal your feeling the hurt like most folks do..I personally have given up on other people,(relationships ) too many issues w people n trust anymore...you must go through your feelings and it will get better...time changes everything as they say.....stay w the group alot good people here.....get well...

[Nothing_but_books]

I do relate. The man I was married to for forty years seems to enjoy hurting me. My trauma has gotten so bad that I literally can't remember how to care for myself in the most basic ways. I need help badly, but my mind isn't clear enough to do the work to get it.

[CLB1125]

I’m sorry about your breakup. Please don’t feel like you threw those years away. Those years were part of your journey. A breakup is almost like a death of a loved one. When I get really in a deep depression I put my earbuds in turn on my music and tune out the world. I make dollhouse rooms making the furniture and accessories and I concentrate on my next project all the possibilities. Just a time not to think of anything else. Coming here helps me feel better. People here understand how I’m feeling. No one else understands like someone who also suffers with it. Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself, self care is very important.

[OnlyHuman86]

Checking in. How are you today?

[Fall1224]

Hello,

I am sorry you had to go through this. I was recently blind-sided by my boyfriend (ex) "dumping" me after 8 years. He used the "it's me, not you" saying to explain the breakup. It has been very devastating lately and hard to see the future without him. It's hard not to overthink or get down on myself. So. I am wondering how have you been doing since you posted? Do you have any advice?

Thank you!