ANXIETY LOST OF SISTER AND FAILING RELATIONSHIP

[jtlow79]

I am going through some major anxiety at the moment. My relationship for 6 years is falling apart, my oldest sister just passed and I don't know how to manage all the feelings that are going on. I can't pass all the crippling thoughts. It's stopping me to do my day to day activities. I avoid people to not have to deal with it. I just feel I need help and encouragement. To know it will be ok! Just to feel love and not feel so guilty or ashamed. I am overwhelmed and feel sooo lost!

[NWGal]

Dear friend, it might help to seek counseling for your losses - not only the death of your sister but the death of your relationship. I think there's a grieving forum on this site too. I'm so sorry for your losses.

[Hidden]

I’m sorry for your emotional pain and grieving. Take it one day at a time on hour at a time one minute at a time. Just breathe and know we have all experienced crushing pain in our lives and we are all still here just trying to be our best.

I’ll pray for you, to have peace to feel loved and to know you are completely independent of the thoughts and opinions of others. You were born to live and notice the beauty of the world. That is a crippling pain though it’s like getting beat up at lunch and having to go home to get beat up for being beaten. I’m so sorry. It does get better and you will feel ok again. I know it feels like quicksand and it feels like your soul and heart ripped out of your chest. Like the tears won’t stop and when they do the pain cycles around like a crazy bicycle. I know that pain. It will get better. It feels like you want to scream so loud so he can hear you on the other side. It feels horrible.

I suggest writing painting drawing going to a grief support group right every night go to a different support group alonon AA anyone you just can walk into. Being alone is the worst you can hurt yourself more then others would. God bless

[Hidden]

I can relate to you experiencing anxiety and loss. I am grieving the loss of my dad and my relationship with boyfriend is not working. I too feel overwhelmed and my anxiety is at an all time high. I find it out hard to function do my daily activities. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

[RoseyViolet]

Breathe... one...day...at... a.... time.... Breathe. First, know you are not alone. Several of us on here have experienced great loss and pain just like you. You are stronger than you know, it just doesn't feel like it right now.

I too lost my sister suddenly and have another sister fighting stage 4 cancer daily and surviving a bit more each day. I get it. One thing that really helped me was to start a journal, one one part of it, I list out all my hurt, pain and heartache, pouring out on the pages what's bothering me and what my feelings are at the moment. I then turn it over and start a thankfulness page, committing thought to writing down daily just one (or more) things to be thankful for, some days it just, "I got the strength to get out of bed today".

Other days are listing thankfulness for a warm home, the ability to work, the ability to walk/talk/listen, a hot cup of coffee... you may have to force yourself in the beginning to do this as it can feel like you don't have much in your life to be thankful for, but if you think really hard, you do.

The other thing that really helped me recover from losing my sister was to allow myself time and space to grieve. We all grieve in our own timing and way, it's okay to not be okay with losing our loved ones and the loss of a special relationship. Please don't think you have to put on a happy face for others, it's okay to not feel very sociable with others.

Give yourself a time and place to grieve and remember the good and learn from the not so good things with your boyfriend so you can help prevent getting into another relationship that could hurt and cause suffering. You're gonna be okay... take each day as it comes.

[jtlow79 in reply to RoseyViolet]

Wow! Thank you. I really need to hear all of this today. My thoughts take me away from this and hearing that it will be ok and to take the time is so comforting. I just feel ashamed that I struggle because I'm supposed to be the "strong" one. But I know it's ok to not be ok sometimes...and remind myself to be patient and take the time. Again, thank you for your kind words of encouragement.

[RoseyViolet in reply to jtlow79]

You are welcome. I know this sucks and I know it's so hard. You can only be as strong as you are at this very moment. Take time to heal YOU. Take time to be good to you. No shame, no "should be/could be" that's destructive. Here's a great song for you to remember each day that passes by, it's called, You're Going to be Okay, be blessed today!! youtube.com/watch?v=LjF9Iqv...(Not working as expected?)