just need a friend

[Daisy425]

hi everyone.

based on my last posts you know I’ve been working on my anxiety. I recently did an IOP group which I found so helpful. This weekend on Friday I went out with my friends and drank more than I should have and had a panic attack about getting sick, but didn’t get sick. Yesterday I did a tasting and had a glass of wine at a winery. I was very anxious and exhausted. I tested for covid and it was negative. I went to bed at 6pm and slept until 10am this morning. Today I feel tired again but it could be from over sleeping and anxiety. I have only eaten a smoothie today. I feel guilty because I’m at my boyfriends house. I don’t want to get him sick if I have covid, but I really don’t think I do. I think the wine and my anxiety has just made me exhausted. I am also a teacher and had a really hard week.

I feel like I’m failing bc I’m having anxiety. I want it to stop but don’t know what else to do. I knew sitting at home and sleeping wouldn’t help so I ran errands and saw my grandma and boyfriend. I’m scared to eat dinner tonight but I know it might help me feel better. That may also be contributing to why I am so tired.

I know this is pretty much a rant, but I just needed support and maybe someone to tell me I’m okay and I don’t have covid, although I know that no one can predict that

[Swilly97]

It is ok. I'm glad you came to vent. I understand the whole not wanting to get sick, I'm the same way. Our anxiety is capable of causing so much harm and disruption. I know my body has struggled too.

If you tested negative, you're ok.

You're making progress it seems so, give yourself some grace. I hope you feel better soon.

[Daisy425 in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you so much! I just don’t know if I should keep testing.

[Swilly97 in reply to Daisy425]

I think If it makes you feel better mentally and emotionally, absolutely test away. I know the feeling.

Reminding you that you're ok. Take care of yourself and don't worry about anyone else right now. Do what you need to do for you.

Hugggggggg

[Swilly97 in reply to Daisy425]

Also, I have days that I can't eat bc I'm terrified of being sick. A smoothie is great and if that's all you can have, well, it's better than nothing, right? Have another maybe. I drink ensure when I feel like that. You're not alone.

[Daisy425 in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you so much I greatly appreciate your kind words. I think it’s all anxiety. When I get anxious I feel tired. I could keep testing but I don’t know if that will put me more on edge. I just feel guilty being with my boyfriend and his mom. I didn’t want to stay home because I thought getting out of the house and being with people might help

[Swilly97 in reply to Daisy425]

You're right about all of that. The anxiety fuels these thoughts of sometimes, false dangers. If you don't feed it, it will subside. That's hard though. Maybe just keep the tests ready if you start to feel ill but make rules and boundaries for testing. Like, don't test if you don't feel ill ya know?

I get tired from anxiety too. After a panic attack, I feel as if I'd ran a marathon.

I'm glad you didn't stay home too. That would've fed your anxiety also. I'm proof that anxiety can lock you up and it's not good.

Anxiety is a bully, a monster! Give it a kick in the butt.

[Daisy425 in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you!!! It’s so hard because anxiety makes me feel physically sick. It’s so hard to know what’s actually an illness and what’s anxiety. I know I should eat dinner because it’ll make me feel better, and fuel my body, but I’m scared eating will make me sick

[Swilly97 in reply to Daisy425]

Oh anxiety makes me physically sick too. It's like you know it's irrational but you can't control it.

You should eat but maybe just a little? It definitely will make your body feel better. Just try though. Remember that you're not sick and you're most likely not gonna get sick. Try to challenge your thoughts. That's what I do.

One of the formulas I use is-What is happening? What are you afraid of happening and, what will most likely happen?

[Daisy425 in reply to Swilly97]

That is so helpful thank you!! I find I keep focusing on how I could be sick, which is one of my biggest fears. Like right now I keep putting my hand on my head to see if it feels warm and I keep thinking it does

[Swilly97 in reply to Daisy425]

I understand. I do stuff like that almost daily. I live my life being scared of getting sick. I had the flu a few months ago and was traumatized by it.

Keep challenging your thoughts because that's what will keep your anxiety at bay. Do try to be in the present moment and, you're not sick right now. That's what I do anyway.

Oh, and only if you feel like it and if you have time, listen to one of a YouTube therapists videos that helped me more than my actual therapist. She does short, helpful videos for mental illness and kinda specializes in anxiety. She helps me so much. Emma: youtube.com/@TherapyinaNuts...

I hope you find comfort soon. Anxiety is cruel.

[Daisy425 in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you again! You have helped so much I appreciate it.

[Swilly97 in reply to Daisy425]

Anytime 🙏💛✨️

[CLB1125]

I don’t think it’s covid. I think over indulging the one night set in motion a series of events. Your sleeping is your body trying to right itself. Try to relax and rest. Be kind to yourself. Drink lots of water. Hugs 🤗

[Daisy425]

Thank you so much. I have been leaning on god a lot recently.

[Daisy425]

I just wish he could make all the anxiety stop