Help please

[TealSheba]

I just posted, but I’m not sure that it went through. I’m really struggling. Been dealing with super severe anxiety for almost 2 years and I’m at the end of my rope. It feels like I have tried almost everything to get better—CBT therapy, hypnotherapy, medications, coping skills like exercise, meditation, journaling, etc. I feel so stuck and like things are actually getting worse. I feel like it’s so hard to function, even simple things. And I have bad social anxiety- interacting with others is so painful and uncomfortable.

I’ve started having suicidal thoughts and they really scare me. My therapist said he’s thinking about referring me to another therapist who she’s EMDR. Does anyone have experience with this? If anyone has any other suggestions, I’m open to try anything to get better.

Thanks in advance for ANY support 🙏🏻

[IncognitoC]

Please contact your local mental health services I believe that this is the number for you 988. Especially if you’re having suicidal thoughts.

[Beevee]

Hi TealSheba

Sorry that you are suffering and feel as though you are at the end of your tether. I know the feeling, including all those scary thoughts which are a symptom of anxiety and not real.

At the start of my recovery, I learnt one very important thing about anxiety which has stayed with me ever since because it is true.

You won't get better until you stop trying to get better.

Like you, I tried all sorts of things to get rid of my anxiety which I suffered every day but none of them worked. Why? Our resistance, intense dislike, fear, hatred of the symptoms is the reason it doesn't go away.

To overcome anxiety, I made friends with my anxiety. It wasn't a cosy relationship and was still very uncomfortable but I decided to accept everything that anxiety threw at me and didn't do anything about it. I started to care less about how I was feeling and be ok about not feeling ok. Very much like dealing with a bad head cold or man-flu 🤣. You feel like death warmed up but don't dwell upon the symptoms too much and carry on with your day. This same attitude towards anxiety allows your sympathetic nervous system time to desensitise after the severe bashing received through your stress and fear about feeling extremely stressed.

I could write pages on the subject and my recovery, most of which I have posted on this forum which you might find helpful. I'm afraid that there is no quick fix, no magic pill to make it all go away. However, acceptance* will do that, along with time.

When you truly understand the meaning of that sentence about stopping trying to get better, you will be well on the road to full recovery.

Best wishes ❤️

* Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

I couldn't agree more! Very good advice!

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

You reminded me about a therapist who said to say this: "maybe, maybe not" about panic and anxiety. It rocked my world bc I always fight anxiety but when I open my mind and let it in, it gets smaller. Acceptance is key but, hard.

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

It gets easier. Like peeling off the layers of an onion. The more you accept, the more you see periods or glimpses of normal feelings and thoughts. Things that scared you hours earlier, don't even register a flicker of emotion. You realise that those scary thoughts are a load of bollocks so you stop giving them the attention they need to stay around. They still come for a while longer [just anxious energy being released by sensitised nerves desensitising], they still scare you but you stop caring about them. You accept their prescence and do nothing. This is how acceptance grows, your attitude to all symptoms change because you see through the lies it spins. You stop feeding your anxiety and you know what happens to anything that doesn't get fed, RIP anxiety.

You have to go through this process and walk through the storm to see for yourself that you are being bluffed by some false feelings that are magnified by anxiety. This is why sufferers continue to suffer because they are not prepared to feel their anxiety in full and just let it be there. They beaver away trying to not feel anxious, trying to avoid or suppress it all so it never really goes away because nerves remain sensitised or habit triggers an anxious response. You have to learn to cope with the symptoms the right way by continually accepting, instead of fighting.

This is how you recover.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

Yes! You're on point. I'm trying, personally. Just getting to understand it. Thank you

[Weatherwoman in reply to Beevee]

Excellent post, thx

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry that your struggling and, I understand.

EMDR helped me immensely when I did it. I think it could be very therapeutic. There's hope.

You're not alone, and, you'll be ok. I know that's hard to believe right now but, it's true.

Do you do breathing exercises? I know you said you've tried everything but, omg deep breathing exercises have soothed me in some intensely tough times.

youtu.be/ZYeejlzh8t4?si=3jX...(Not working as expected?)

Virtual hugggggggggg

[Agora1]

Hi TealSheba.. don't give up. Just as with taking medication, all depends if we skip a

dose, how much a dosage we take each day as well as when we take it. Using methods

that are meant to help us takes time and practice. (As well as doing the right application

that works for you)

Working with Meditation and Breathing must be a daily routine. The best times being

before sleep at night and first thing upon awakening in the morning. The reason for this

is because our subconscious brain is awake 24/7 replaying events of the day both good

and bad. Listening to meditation before bed and while you sleep saturates the

subconscious mind with positive thoughts. This can be a form of changing your

thoughts from a negative approach to a more positive one. It can take about a month

before your subconscious mind starts to accept what it's hearing and breaks the habit

of ruminating over negative thoughts. Finding what works for you is just the beginning. xx