The beast that is Social Anxiety and what its limitations are.

[IlMinded]

I don't come on and post as much as I used to, mainly as I have been slowly learning what my issues are. Finally had an "AHA" moment, a light bulb moment for some, that social interaction is just one thing that has been bothering me. It prevents me from having those hard conversations with people. More so with loved ones and those I work with. You know its bad when you can talk to your spouse of over a decade because of it. I finally was able to get in the proper head space and realize what was really going on. Went to work with no emotional baggage. Felt great! Then had to walk around and interact with people, as it is part of my job. After I got back to my desk to sit down, I realized it took a ton out of me just to go through and conduct "inspections." This made me sit down and re-examine myself to realize this is something I have been overlooking for years.

It was hard to get to this point since my life involved huge social events where I performed in front of large people. I played music in front of people for years, DJ'ed parties as a side hustle throughout college and early post collegic life. It now makes sense when I stopped DJing, why I felt I had more energy.

So my question for those suffering with social anxiety, does it improve or do you learn more on how to cope? Still need to discuss everything with doctors, but wanted to get a feel of what I should lean more towards to improve my livelihood, as well as my family's, going forward.

[SurvivingEveryday]

Social anxiety is such a unique/relative disorder. I know some people who have social anxiety and are crippled by it. One friend in particular only communicates via text message, and she rarely goes out; hers almost resembles agoraphobia in some ways. Other friends I know, it takes them a long time to get prepared for social events/dinners/etc., and so (as supportive friends) we ensure that we give them plenty of time to prepare for the activity.

For me, my social anxiety comes in waves, but comes down to control. If I am going to an interview, I will be very anxious. If I am going to dinner alone, I will be anxious. If I am at work, I can speak in front of 100 people with no anxiety at all. For me, it is about situations that I cannot control. Not in a manipulative way, but I mean situations that I am new to/are foreign to me. Having said that, I might be anxious over something for months, and then I have very little anxiety. The intensity is random and probably follows my stress levels.

I take anxiety medication (for PTSD and depression) and it helps with my social anxiety, but I also find that breathing (i.e. taking three HUGE breaths and holding it in your chest for as long as you can) can help prior to anxious activities.

[IlMinded in reply to SurvivingEveryday]

Thanks for sharing and sorry you suffer as well.

I suffer from PTSD and Panic attacks as well. I am on a SSRI break and taking nothing to help with mental help, except blood pressure medicine that classifies as a drug that can help with anxiety attacks and some THC gummies.

Thanks for the bit of how it comes in waves. I started to notice as my stress levels increase and when I am burned out and that my PTSD and regular anxiety become worse. I have been fortunate enough that I am making strides without medication but also having a coming to reality that I am not getting younger and can't just power through stuff like I used to. I guess the saying is living smarter, not harder.

[SurvivingEveryday in reply to IlMinded]

I can see that point, exactly! I was off SSRI for a while, and after a few months I felt pretty leveled out, but my anxiety was crazy immediately after stopping the medication, and lasted for (maybe) three months.

I hate being on medication- the side effects make me question if they are worth it. The sexual dysfunction, fatigue, physical numbness, stomach issues... but the medication helps me so I take it (begrudgingly.)

Have you ever taken Adderall? I was prescribed it and it helped my anxiety a LOT. I know it is for ADHD, but it helped my anxiety and was almost a mood stabilizer. I have not been on that for a few months, but it was incredible.

[IlMinded in reply to SurvivingEveryday]

I have not. I have a follow up with the psychiatrist in a month (6 month follow-up since coming off medication). It is one of the topics I want to bring up as I have been experiencing with THC and have found delta 8 very helpful. My PTSD warps my thoughts and easily go down a rumination path. The d8 helps as it reminds me to be humble and makes me realize things I take for granted. I am a huge sports fan and watched a review of my favorite teams previous season. I cried during it not because I am a huge fan, but it reminded me that it was the first season I watched with my son where he had the same amount of interest as me, if not more! The idea that I experienced it with my son made be ball so hard. I don't think I would of had those emotions if it wasn't for being under the influence. I love knowing that any negative mindset will go away, and sooner when I take d8.

[Agora1]

H IIMinded, ahhh that beautiful "aha" moment when the light bulb went on

after years of searching and struggling, everything fell into place in what I learned.

Oh, it's not a magic wand that came over me but a sense of "Control" over this

entity that had taken control over my life for years.

I never realized that it was a form of social anxiety at a very young age when

my mother would have me perform with my singing and dancing in front of family.

It's one thing for us to be comfortable in what we are doing and quite another thing

for someone else to present us to the world when we aren't ready.

I did finally get over my social anxiety as a young woman and did a complete

turnaround as this out going sensitive person who needed to blossom in her

own time. xx

[IlMinded in reply to Agora1]

Glad to hear it worked out in the end for you. It really surprised me as I played music in grade school and high school in front of large crowds (thousands) and never really thought anything of it. Heck, I DJ'ed parties for almost 20 years! I never had the crowds like I did when I played, but still having to work with crowds 100-300 large. I have no idea why now its causing problems.