New member seeking to connect with others who understand what it's like living with major depression and anxiety.

[JBCS]

I've been depressed, on and off, since I was a teenager. Now it's worse than ever. I'm undergoing treatment with Spravato currently, and I've done electro-convulsive therapy in the past. I'm also on a number of different antidepressants, and I've tried just about everything at one time or another.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to survive my husband going out of town for a day -- I detest being by myself. And later in the summer, he'll be away for three days and two nights, which I'm really dreading.

Does anyone have any advice for surviving being alone for a day or three?

[LifeIsThePitts]

Have you looked into TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) treatment? This is the only "therapy" that helps me. I've been going since Feb '22. Now I'm on maintenance sessions every 4 weeks to maintain my stability. But I pay 100%out of pocket for my treatment as my insurance doesn't cover this. I'm invested almost $10,000 since the beginning. I've also had clinical Ketamine infusions for severe depression. Sparvato is Ketamine, right?

I'm also microdosing Psilocybin mushrooms since the end of April and have been learning about ALL psychedelics in the burgeoning field of depression and anxiety. YouTube is a great learning platform. Paul Stamets is the mycology/fungi expert worth looking up if you're interested in what Psilocybin can potentially do for us.

I'm almost 49 and have been battling this mental health war since I was a kid. Almost gave up the "fight" in Jan '22...but TMS turned everything around and I'm trying my best to heal myself in every sense of the word. I desperately want my retirement and golden years to be more rewarding than the first half of my adult life. The work is ongoing and discovering the best version of myself is the goal. Never stop growing... that's the key 🗝️

[JBCS in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Thanks for your response. I actually did try TMS and it didn't do anything for me. I feel like I've tried everything out there to no avail. I read about someone who was in a clinical trial for deep brain stimulation who had great results, so I may just have to wait until that's approved by the FDA as a treatment for depression.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to JBCS]

ECT scares the hell out of me but one of the criteria for DBS is ECT not being effective or too many negative side effects. The deep brain stimulation is a Great option, imo. There's a member here jnelson66 in the Major depressive disorder (MDD) support group that has gone through the DBS clinical trial and has posted about the process and success. Look up his profile and read his posts... there's only 3 or 4 so it's easy to locate. He's really receptive to questions and is very open for discussion. It's definitely worth your time!!

[EndUser13]

Welcome to the forum!

I advise you keep coming back and engage in the community, then you'll be less alone. I remember when my issues with anxiety started and I couldn't stand to be alone, as if something bad would happen if I were left alone. With time and practice, I was able to realize that there is no such thing as a safe person or place and that I was able to manage my anxiety using a host of techniques- I guess you just gotta have the courage to keep trying and use what works.

Do you have friends you could call or text with on occasion when you are alone? Would leaving the radio or TV on help?

[catsrock]

Is there anything that you do, like a hobby, where you lose track of time because you get so absorbed in it? For me that is books, movies, jigsaw puzzles, playing with my cats, and sometimes working in the yard. I'm hoping you can enjoy this time alone and use it to do something fun that you enjoy.

[JBCS in reply to catsrock]

Right now my only "hobby" is lying in bed with my cat. My depression is pretty bad at the moment and there isn't much joy in my life. Or enjoyment.

[catsrock in reply to JBCS]

I'm so sorry - that sounds very hard. Sending you lots of support.

[Wishfulthoughts]

My boyfriend works in aviation and is gone every week for several days internationally. Given I have issues with anxiety and depression (and let's be honest fear of abandonment) I was not sure when we started dating that it would work out between us because of this. Despite the odds we've been able to make it work. Here's how we do it maybe some of it can work for you :

We do a video call at least once a day when he is gone, and he usually sends me a couple of texts throughout the day ( he's always been very big on very consistent communication anyway).

I plan at least one thing i'm going to do even if its something mundane ( laundry, grocery, etc), I will plan to make something I enjoy eating, possibly something I like eating that he does not ( Bf hates Indian so time for tasty takeout!)

I listen to audiobooks while i do things around the house- it is additional human voice- i'm aware this is weird but sometimes i don't talk to people other than my partner and I find that watching tv will keep you on the sofa while an audio book will allow you mobility.

I have a rotation of activities I can work on ( jigsaw puzzle, painting, a book to read, knit/crochet, coloring, crosswords ) that I only do when he is NOT here. I need the variety because I can't assume I will finish anything or it will maintain my attention ( thanks overlapping adhd/depression sometimes takes joy away from my favorite things temporarily).

I have lovely snuggly cats to cuddle with in the bed ( if you don't a nice body pillow may help).

I have sleeping pills and I usually only take them on the nights he's gone because my brain goes weeehoooo and i'd be on reddit all night. He's sort of like my human weighted blanket.

I also have a weighted blanket, they are nice.

I don't like being alone but i think i'm pretty good at it LOL.

Hope any of this helps, even a little.