I'm new here and hoping to connect with others.

[carno90]

Mine joining here comes after an attempted suicide. I swallowed a bunch of pills with the intent of never waking up again. I did, obviously, and since then, have taking the steps to try and get myself better. This is one of them.

I've been battling depression for more than a decade, but until recently, have always dealt with the struggle on my own. I've had days where I struggled to get out of bed and just as many where I didn't, but I always managed to get by. I had peaks followed by valleys. Lately though, it's gotten to the point where the valleys feel so deep, I struggle to see why I should even bother trying to get out. I've been talking with a therapist and have been feelings slightly better as of late, but I know I have a long way to go.

I guess things have just compounded over the years. It's gotten to the point recently where I've struggled to separate my issues with depression with other aspects of my life. I'm a 28-year-old college student desperately trying to make up for lost time and have fallen behind in my coursework. The semester ends next week, and I've handed in no assignments. I've basically stopped going to class at this point. My professors have been understanding. They've agreed to give me an "incomplete" for now, which essentially gives me time to make up missing work, but that has only made me feel worse about things. Like I've been given some kind of handout where others have had to put in the work. It sucks.

My therapist and a few friends I've been talking with have all told me that I shouldn't feel this way; that it's not my fault things have gotten so bad. Depression, they say, is a disease. But I'm having trouble accepting that. As I said before, I've been dealing with this for years but have always gotten by.

I feel like I'm rambling. I don't mean to. I don't talk about this stuff often, but when I do, I notice things just come flooding out. Again, I'm just trying to get to a better place.

[tamka38]

Hi and welcome it was brave of u for reaching out. Is a lot of great people on this site that will love to help u. You’re never alone we all are here together fighting a battle to get better. Have u tried deep breathing exercise and meditation I like writing a list of things am grateful for I been struggling since 8 and am for 40 I use to self medicate and now am 2 months sober now and now am taking medication and on a waiting list for a therapist am here if u need me

[Sunandrose87]

I read your entire post. I think you are taking the first step by getting your feelings out.

[anxietyforlife2018]

Hey! Feel free to message me! I am a triple board certified DNP in psychiatric, trauma, and primary care, here to help!

[Mumma_h]

Hi Carno90, first of all hi and welcome, I've only been on here a few weeks myself and it's so good to know we aren't suffering alone. You weren't rambling at all, I could go on all night talking given the chance . Sorry to hear you're struggling, you sound like you put heaps of pressure on yourself, you've done the right thing getting more time to do your studies and who cares what anyone else thinks!!!!! Getting you feeling well and happy needs to be a priority, use the time to relax a little, worrying about us not time off!!!!You're so young (compared to me lol), plenty of time. So glad you've joined us , there are many here who have wanted to take our lives, you are not alone that's for sure. I suffered terribly with depression, had no idea it could get so bad cos I was always optimistic. I fell hard into depression a few weeks back and this time I'm sticking to my antidepressants. Might be good to discuss with your doctor as I know how cruel depression is and I'll do just about anything to help myself now . They do seem to be working, still have bad days but I'm not in that hell hole . You have so much to live for you just don't feel it right now . I also told anyone who cared that I was in a bad place and I got lots of love but only because I told them how bad I was , whereas before I just kind whispered it here and there expectating people to know . I don't even care anymore I was so bad I desperately needed some tlc. Hope you're feeling more hopeful soon . I got better before , even loved life again, so I'm telling you from experience so can you . Lots of love your way and know you're not alone ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Mumma_h]

Also in my opinion depression is a disease because it affects our brain , scientific fact . BUT I think it is caused by extreme hurt and trauma or even if those things haven't happened ; by perceived hurt and trauma, most likely the first one . When this happens our brain needs healing, this happens with love ,care , therapy, meds if needed and loads of understanding!!!!! Take all the love and care and help you can get , you are absolutely worth it !!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️